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Thread: Dealing with christian parents

  1. #1
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    Dealing with christian parents

    Hello, I was born in a small city in north-eastern Argentina founded by north american Seventh Day Adventist immigrants.
    I was educated in this faith from my childhood, but a year ago I became interested in Hindu Philosophy.
    I was keeping it in secret until my mother recently found a copy of the Gita in my bedroom.
    Today she spoke to me in a friendly way but she accused me of being an atheist and believing myself God.
    Then she started questioning the idea of reincarnation (Because Adventists don't believe in soul or afterlife, they believe the only possible afterlife is the resurrection of the body).
    I told her how could she reconcile the one life theory and a fair God, with the fact of a kid being born in extreme poverty in Africa and another being born in a royal family.
    She told me that it's not God's fault, it's due to sin.
    I asked why I was born in this world of suffering if was Eve and not me who ate from the forbidden fruit.
    She told me that God has a special purpose for me.
    Now she and my father want to have interfaith dialogues with me (I know they want to convert me back to Christianity).
    I know it's gonna be useless, I was educated in this faith so there's nothing new they can tell me about Adventism to convert me back, and I also won't change their minds about their faith.
    What should I do?

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    Re: Dealing with christian parents

    Vannakkam ale: Tough questions and tough situation. It's harder when you live under the same roof, and I'm not sure if you do or not. This conversion thing gets much easier when you're on your own. I think it's important not to expect much from them. They have a religion that's worked well for them after all. I would think just having them not be angry at you all the time would be reasonable.

    Until you move out and become independant, that might be all one could expect from strong believers in another faith. After you move out, you're an adult and can do what you want to.

    Certainly you are not alone. Millions of children have chosen not to follow the beliefs of their parents.

    Aum Namasivaya

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    Re: Dealing with christian parents

    hello, eastern mind.
    Yes, we live under the same roof. I have my job and I pay them a monthly rent.
    By doing this I'm being able to save more money and it's easier for me to live this way.
    I'm not a social guy and i'm not planning to get married and have a family.
    I just want to progress in my spiritual path.
    Even if I move from my parent's home to live alone and practice the dharma, it'll be impossible to find a hindu guru in this small Adventist town, so the best I can do for now is start studying the scriptures on my own.
    Happily they didn't show signs of anger or hostility towards me.

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    Re: Dealing with christian parents

    Vannakkam: Well, at least you have the internet. Only a few years back people of all walks of life had no access to different information of any kind, so remained in their own little world, unaware of any different possibilities. The very idea of Hinduism could only be accessed via a very poorly written encyclopedia at your school.

    When we married, we were living in a small town, and then after I graduated school, being near other Hindus was an absolute priority. I think that in this day and age, moving is a definite possibility. With will, and the blessings of Lord Ganesha, I'd never count it out. For example, if you get a Power engineering certificate, there are a couple of Petrochemical refineries here in my city that would hire you in a minute. They can't find people, and the fact that you're a foreigner would be irrelevant.

    Aum Namasivaya

  5. #5

    Re: Dealing with christian parents

    Namaste.

    What sect of Hinduism do you follow? And what hindu gurus or saints do you like the most? What are your beliefs about God?

    I ask this because depending on your set of beliefs, you can perfectly fit them with the christian practices externally while mantaining your hindu practice internally and externally when possible. Thus you can keep being a hindu without creating conflict with your parents.

    Pranams.

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    Re: Dealing with christian parents

    Hello, Ekam

    Quote Originally Posted by Ekam View Post
    Namaste.

    What sect of Hinduism do you follow? And what hindu gurus or saints do you like the most? What are your beliefs about God?

    I ask this because depending on your set of beliefs, you can perfectly fit them with the christian practices externally while mantaining your hindu practice internally and externally when possible. Thus you can keep being a hindu without creating conflict with your parents.

    Pranams.
    I'm mostly interested in Shankaracharya's Advaita Vedanta. I believe in Ishvara and in Brahman's trascendence.
    Anyway, it's been a year or more since I no longer go to church.

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    Re: Dealing with christian parents

    namase ale,
    Eastern has given you great advice. I don't have any experience with this type of situation so not speaking from personal experience but would like to share some of my thoughts. You are free to ignore them of course.

    I can imagine that it is very painful thing for parents to see their child (adult or not) change his or her birth religion. How dare he forsake the religion of the forefathers. It must be a emotional nightmare for them. So please be gentle with them.

    One of the tenets of hinduism is to 'respect the elders'. This tenet is a good one, it doesn't just apply to one's parents but any elder. Please be mindful and never disrespect them especially in this situation. Discussing your new found faith with them will do nothing. It is not your duty to make them understand what hinduism is. They will 'get' it on their own when they are ready. In the meantime try your best to reduce their pain. I consider causing pain to one's parents a great sin. Remember they are vessels using which 'you' took rebirth and for that you are forever in their debt (rn). This debt can never be repaid is my opinion. Thus we hindus do daana for pitr (for the elderly who are dead).

    Since you are advaitin, then for you, in the end, religion (hinduism or not) is just a concept of mind. Treat it as such and don't be hard on them. Attending a church to make someone happy is not a sin in my opinion.
    satay

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    Re: Dealing with christian parents

    Quote Originally Posted by satay View Post
    Since you are advaitin, then for you, in the end, religion (hinduism or not) is just a concept of mind. Treat it as such and don't be hard on them. Attending a church to make someone happy is not a sin in my opinion.
    Hi Satay,

    Since you posted as a user and not as a moderator, I wish to "take you to task" as it were for the above.

    I hope you reconsider the wording in your post above. It appears you have taken the responsibility of indicating what the world view should be for fellow Hindu advaitins. Like other traditions within Hinduism, I am sure you are aware of the very stringent requirements laid down in order to even begin Advaitin studies. (Refer the commentary on "athatho brahma jigyasa", the very first sutra of the Brahmasutras, Shankara commentary.) It is not simply "just a concept of mind".

    Regards
    WM

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    Re: Dealing with christian parents

    Hello, satay

    Quote Originally Posted by satay View Post
    Discussing your new found faith with them will do nothing.
    You're right, I think I'll try to avoid any kind of discussion about hinduism vs. christianity with my parents.

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    Re: Dealing with christian parents

    Vannakkam: This situation isn't always that bad. Some people of other faiths enjoy what the kids find, and can be quite accepting of it. Both my parents eventually came to our temple just to have a look around, and seeing others who were like me helped. I think it depends on how strong the parents are in their beliefs. Many will say they try to raise their kids to think for themselves, but that idea is certainly put to the test when this situation arises. You will find out soon enough if they actually meant it, no?

    But its not just faith. It can be choice of occupation, your marriage partner, where you decide to live, your diet, sexual orientation, how you raise kids, and much more. It's not realistic for any mature adult to expect little clones of themselves.

    I agree with Satay for the most part. OTOH, when you feel real strongly about anything, you should go for it. If you don't, it'll haunt you.

    Aum Namasivaya
    Last edited by Eastern Mind; 03 September 2014 at 04:13 PM.

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