in the eastern part of india people normally dont undertake any religious offerings or visit any temple within one year from the death of the relative . this list includes only the close relatives in the line of father , like paternal uncle or grandfather etc . and the period of one year is not counted from holi but from the actuall 'tithi' (almanac date) of the death to the same tithi the next year .
however daily activities like japam and meditation are not to be discontinued at any event .
therefore it is safe to say that you can safely participate in shivaratri in your home . but do not organise a elaborate ritualistic puja with proper brahminical customs .
in bengal , durga puja is celebrated with great pomp . in many families lavish ceremonies have been continuing uninterrupted for more than 500 years ! in such a family if a death takes place the relatives usually follow this rule --- the sankalpa or the 'promise' of the puja is uttered in behalf of someone who doesnt belong to this family , and the ritualistic arrangements are done by other unaffected members or friends . while the original affected members of the household refrain from coming in close contact with the ritual objects . this way the unbroken flow of the celebrations can be maintained and shastras are also respected .
however no such formalities should not be required for personal offering and small prayers ..
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