Namaste HDF,
I have an important question about karma and how to change it. I seem to be caught in a sort of "Catch 22" situation when it comes to changing my karma, I believe.
To explain, I'll first elaborate on what a "Catch 22" situation is. It's a reference to a novel by the same name, and the basic plot of the novel is about a soldier who wants to leave the military because he hates fighting and conflict. However, he discovers that outside of being wounded in combat, the only way to be declared mentally unfit for combat and therefore be sent home was to be considered psychotic enough to actually love combat and conflict and be unhealthy reveling in it. So in other words, to escape the fighting and conflict he so abhors, he has to turn around and actually love it to the point of psychosis.
I feel I'm caught in a similar situation when it comes to my karma. Pretty much everyone on here knows how I get when politics are discussed - depressed, self-deprecating, you know the rest. I don't act rationally because I'm paralyzed with guilt.
I know the best way to counter my guilt is to do something about the world situations I find so awful. However, this is where the "Catch 22" comes in - encountering such situations causes the emotional paralysis to come up in the first place. It's a vicious cycle - seeing it happen causes horrible guilt, which paralyzes me, making it impossible for me to do something about it, increasing the guilt further, etc.
If I'm to be able to do anything productive and positive, I need a way to break out of this vicious cycle. But I don't know how. I want to do something to help the world, but if my mind can't handle seeing what's wrong with the world, then what do I do?
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