My Dharma vs. My Karma

[Webimpulse]

Namaste HDF,

To preface, this post is not about self-deprecation; my self-esteem is actually at a comfortable level right now. But I want to ask what I think is an interesting question, one that probably many people have pondered before:

How does one tell the difference between one's innate nature, the behavior of oneself that isn't supposed to change - one's dharma, or role - and one's changeable behavior that one is supposed to improve?

I ask this question because I'm having trouble with telling the difference. It seems like certain behaviors of mine I can change very easily once I put my mind to it, and other behavior, well... no matter how much effort I put into trying to change it, I always backslide somehow.

How am I supposed to know what I should change about myself, and what can't be changed?

[Viraja]

They say personality cannot be changed, having been born an introvert, I have tried many times to change myself but in vain. However there are certain personality traits that can be changes. For example, anger and laziness. The elders ask us to control the anger, it is very hard for someone who is motivated by anger to snap out of it, however he/she can walk out of the situation. Or can practice pranayama and other breath control techniques that are supposed to bring a cool temperament in the long run. Lazyness can be modified too. In spiritual matters, one can compel oneself to shed the lazyness and do some voluntary work, do some pujas, etc. Therefore we can see that one has out-and-out control over one's actions. Speech can be controlled too. One can speak lesser and lesser, like the wise advice men to do. However I do think that other aspects of personality such as how socially outgoing one is, the basic temperament, etc will remain unchanged.

[Avyaydya]

How does one tell the difference between one's innate nature, the behavior of oneself that isn't supposed to change - one's dharma, or role - and one's changeable behavior that one is supposed to improve?

I ask this question because I'm having trouble with telling the difference. It seems like certain behaviors of mine I can change very easily once I put my mind to it, and other behavior, well... no matter how much effort I put into trying to change it, I always backslide somehow.

How am I supposed to know what I should change about myself, and what can't be changed?

As I understand it ...
our character (innate nature) together with our position/role determine our Dharm. In life our character translates into a personality. Our personality makes us suitable for a certain role. For instance if we are a fighter, we want to seek a role/job in which we can make use of this nature, like in the military, police or as a guard (rather than becoming a criminal). With a role come duties, rules, restrictions and this again helps us improve our character. We should seek roles that on the one hand allows our character to manifest, while at the same time purifying it.

Character is a combination of traits. In life these translate in personality as the person takes shape. Basic traits come from the gunas. These traits can both manifest in a negative and positive way. If we can make them serve our dharm that is good, if they become too dominant, that is bad. For instance if you are action driven that can be good (productive), or negative (impatience, do the wrong things). So we need to some kind of control over them, how and when to allow them, and when not.

Traits make us vulnerable to short-term and long-term inclinations, which are part of the human condition at large, no one not even the Sages are impervious to those. Short-term inclinations (desires) are easier to deal with than long term inclinations. They are short burners. They ignite quickly, but also burn themselves out. Long-term inclinations are constant, for instance the desire to seek proof.

To deal with short term inclinations it helps to understand them as a train. While you are at a station you have a choice whether you will enter a train. But once you are in the train and the doors are closed, you are in for the ride. In the same way before an inclination is ready to take off, we have a short moment to either give in to the inclination or reject it. Once we give in we are in for the ride. If we are attentive we can recognize the early stages and then determine if we want to allow them. Most desires start with a single thought, if we start entertaining this thought, we will have difficulty controlling it.

Even better is to stay away from situations and company that arise these thoughts, especially if you know to be vulnerable. For instance people with drinking problems should avoid situations that might arouse their desire (parties, etc), even avoid driving a daily route that passes a liquor store. Having the right balance also makes us less prone. So emphasis is best laid on self-protection, rather than control.

What is doomed to fail is allowing the thoughts and then trying to control desires through willpower. It is even dangerous as the desires will grow and can then erupt uncontrollably with force. There are advanced techniques to harness desires and transform the energy for other purposes, but you should not experiment with that without a good guru.

It is not about changing yourself, but rather understanding, respecting, following. A lion will not turn into a lamb. Dharm is not about changing nature, but respecting nature (both inner and outer nature), then using it in such a way as to live in harmony. Harmony can not be enforced, neither is that necessary as Nature itself seeks harmony. We want to seek the role that is laid out for us by Karma and Dharma and then play it to the best of our ability.

Karma is in us at a deep causal level. What ever we do creates consequences, both short term and long term, both in us and our environment. Following Dharm is the best way to avoid the build up of negative Karma. The level of consciousness is influenced by karma. Acting unfeelingly consistently will lower it, acting consistently lovingly will raise it. Karma once produced can not be avoided (fate), therefor it is better to accept it willingly than to try to outsmart it. For instance a criminal can accept sentencing and repaying, but also try to run from it. By avoiding it we can bring ourselves in a situation in which we have to undergo terrible inescapable suffering without understanding why this is happening to us. That is why noble people often seek penance freely. In this way a noble character still protects itself.

So as I see it, it is the other way round, is not about changing, but following Dharm. Following Dharm however does change you. To understand Dharm, is to know yourself. The Devas assist us in this, they are our spiritual light. In the Gita Krishna start with telling Arjuna what his Dharm is. Why he Arjuna has to play this role. Everything starts with Dharm. Man is probably one of the few beings in the universe that is confused about his Dharm. Planets find the right orbit effortlessly, birds build their nests happily, trees find the Sun easily. But man seems to get lost in his self. Like Arjuna the poor sucker is entangled in strong emotions.

[rama_t]

Namasthe

What can i change and what cannot be changed..? I think this is a very good question.

As Viraja has pointed out, we may not be able to change from introvert to extravert.
But from my learning what can be changed :
thoughts, talks, actions.. intention behind all these can be changed to be more duty bound, unselfish, loving promoting peace and happiness within us and around.
Having clarity of intention in every thought and action helps in this. Emotions , talking and actions can be control and become pious when our intention become pure, pious.
Aligning all this to be Divine oriented is the goal. In the end everything becomes duty towards Lord.

Dharma is duty, karma is result of actions ..and that can be from thought, talk or action.

Pranams