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Thread: When it comes to Love Does Hindu's really practise what it preaches?

  1. When it comes to Love Does Hindu's really practise what it preaches?

    Hello..

    I am not sure where to post this question but i hope someone can advise

    It begins like this, ..Seven years ago , whilst studying , i met this woman called Meera who i discover is Hindu and was born in Mumbai but came to Europe when she was three years old. She and i became instantly very close. We would take long walks together and were very affectionate towards each other (not sexually)when we where together.

    Within a short space of time i found myself falling in love with her. I never told her in fear of scaring her away , but it seemed she already new. It wasnt until i left and moved far away , an ex friend of mine told her - out of spite because she was jealous of the fact that i was in love with this woman and not her.

    Meera and i broke up on bad terms before i left because she kept treating me differently when she was with her indians friends. She would treat me as if i didnt exist and often delay responding to my emails. But when we where together she was totally different. She even took me home to meet her family and call me on occasions.. Anyways because i was upset with the ball of confusion she constantly put me through i wrote her a horrible email and that was the end of it .

    A couple years later i sent her an email which she responded , saying she didnt hold any grudges, but said she was surprised of my email because she considered me as a friend. How could she consider me as a friend when she treated me so badly as she did?.Anyways on the reply , I was like we can finally reconcile our friendship, but on no! within days she ingored further of my emails.

    A year ago i saw her again and nothing was exchanged between us. She claims she is deeply at one with the world and open to love and in support of all issues but she seems to be such a hypocrite because to others she appears pure and centred , yet she has a very horrible side to her . I am not saying im perfect but i treated her better than anyone in my life. I have never been so open and affectionate to anyone like i have with her

    The fact of why i have posted this is because of simple claifications as i am still madly in love with her and would like reconnect with her. She has been given opportunities to contact me ..She would say she is liberal and how she is so supportive same sex relationships but yet it appears that she is a ball of confusion when it comes to it all.. I am not looking to have a relationship. I will happy to just be friends..

    A friend of mine told me that their is a way in which you can get someone to reconnect ..He said something on the lines of chant?.. I dont fully understand , but i am hoping someone in her can advise.

    PS.. I hope i did not offend anyone in here as this is certainly not my intention

  2. #2
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    Re: When it comes to Love Does Hindu's really practise what it preaches?

    Namaste Samantha3d,

    As to the question you posed in the subject line of the thread, I have to say that's a bit of an unfair one. Judging all Hindus based on the actions of a few isn't conducive to love in any way - just as a car in the hands of a wrong person can be dangerous, so too have many used religion as a means of oppression, but that doesn't mean you stop making cars, and similarly you don't condemn a particular religion on the actions of a few.

    Hinduism, being the pluralistic faith that it is, has its sects that advocate same-sex rights, as well as sects that are downright homophobic. As an example, take a look at this video by the guru Sri Sri Ravi Shankar of the Art of Living, who overtly says homosexuality is not a crime (while the Art of Living doesn't overtly identify itself as Hindu, the vast majority of its followers are Hindus, at least to my knowledge):

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eekt...5481452B2F7ABD

    Please pardon me if this isn't quite the answer you were seeking. It's just it's not very clear from your text if you were looking for something along these lines; I know you said you weren't looking for a relationship, but you did mention same-sex relationships as well...

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    Re: When it comes to Love Does Hindu's really practise what it preaches?

    Dear friend ,
    What exactly is your problem and in what way it is connected to Hinduism .Thw way you presened the issue seems to me just like any ordinary love where there is an intense urge to possess the loved one , in a selfish way . Love is different from possessing . Love wants to share and care . It is an abstract quality where there is no need for any exhibition and demostration . rgds

  4. Re: When it comes to Love Does Hindu's really practise what it preaches?

    Quote Originally Posted by Webimpulse View Post
    Namaste Samantha3d,

    As to the question you posed in the subject line of the thread, I have to say that's a bit of an unfair one. Judging all Hindus based on the actions of a few isn't conducive to love in any way - just as a car in the hands of a wrong person can be dangerous, so too have many used religion as a means of oppression, but that doesn't mean you stop making cars, and similarly you don't condemn a particular religion on the actions of a few.

    Hinduism, being the pluralistic faith that it is, has its sects that advocate same-sex rights, as well as sects that are downright homophobic. As an example, take a look at this video by the guru Sri Sri Ravi Shankar of the Art of Living, who overtly says homosexuality is not a crime (while the Art of Living doesn't overtly identify itself as Hindu, the vast majority of its followers are Hindus, at least to my knowledge):

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eekt...5481452B2F7ABD

    Please pardon me if this isn't quite the answer you were seeking. It's just it's not very clear from your text if you were looking for something along these lines; I know you said you weren't looking for a relationship, but you did mention same-sex relationships as well...
    Wow, im really shocked and so grateful that you have taken the trouble to respond to my post.. I was a little nervous posting , but i know i had it. It is wonderful to know that as you say some sectors of Hindu beliefs are respectful about same sex marriages ..

  5. Re: When it comes to Love Does Hindu's really practise what it preaches?

    Quote Originally Posted by saswathy View Post
    Dear friend ,
    What exactly is your problem and in what way it is connected to Hinduism .Thw way you presened the issue seems to me just like any ordinary love where there is an intense urge to possess the loved one , in a selfish way . Love is different from possessing . Love wants to share and care . It is an abstract quality where there is no need for any exhibition and demostration . rgds
    Hello, No it is not my intention to come across as possessive. I guess i was wondering if their was any answers .. Like i said i would love to be friends with her

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    Re: When it comes to Love Does Hindu's really practise what it preaches?

    My opinion is just one voice of millions, I do not speak for every Hindu, Native or Western.

    In fact, I am a fool so take this advice the way you wish.

    Oki now that the disclaimer is out of the way...Hello, and welcome to the forum.

    ~

    Did you know that sometimes, when someone is really compassionate and loving...the best thing they can do for you is to walk away?

    This person will never be with you and felt her presence was troubling you with emotional attachment she could never reciprocate?

    Once...

    When I was in high school there was this VERY extremely handsome man...and I was seriously crushing on him the entire school years.

    He was always quite a lady's man...and had many many woman who were falling at his feet. Wisely, I never told him about my feelings...but I am sure he knew.

    Now, ten years after graduation, we had our reunion...this man sought me out, sat at my private table...even though I was married with four children...he insisted my husband give our home phone number and address to him.

    My husband befriended this man...and he began coming over every day...and as the days wore on...it got more and more uncomfortable.

    Finally, the night came where my husband fell asleep in his easy chair and this man approached me. He told me he hated how horrible my husband was to me...how he truly loved me...and wanted to take me away from this life I was living...that I was the most beautiful and intelligent woman he had ever met and that he could not stop thinking about me.

    I got up from my seat, showed him to the door...and I never allowed him back in my home.

    I Love Daniel...so very much. He was a very dear friend...and everything he said about my ex husband was right. He was a horrible man...who cheated on me right to my face. But, I could not betray my vows and sink to his level.

    The only thing I could do...the kindest thing I could do...is leave Daniel alone, in peace.

    Years later, I reconnected with him for a few moments to wish him well...he was married with his own new lil baby!

    So you see, making him leave was an act of Love.

    I can not speak for this one you were so enamored with, but I can tell you that sometimes the most kindest thing you could do for someone is to walk away, with all the Love in your heart and leave them in peace.

    Now, what is the most kind thing you could do for this one who seems to wish you to leave her alone?

    Sometimes, when you truly Love someone...you have to do things which make you very sad. But, if you Love them...then it's the only choice.

    Good luck, and hugs <3

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    Re: When it comes to Love Does Hindu's really practise what it preaches?

    Namaste Samantha,

    I sympathize, as my spouse and I were once in this very situation. There are some truths that cross all cultures and spiritual beliefs, truths like the Golden Rule etc. Sometimes they seem like cliches, but the fact is they are such because they are so true for most people. In your case, the only thing that comes to mind is one such - and as others here have stated in other ways:
    If you love something, let it go. If it returns, accept it. If it does not, it was never yours to begin with.

    This 'yours' is not meant in a possessive form, but simply as 'a key part of your current life'. But more importantly, one must understand what "returning" means. Your old friend has made some new appearances in this life, but has not really "returned". Instead, it seems to me that this may be more an opportunity to let go of the past and close that door so that another may open onto the future, painful as that might be at the moment. It may be that in this life she is not in a physical form that will allow her to love among the same gender in this way, regardless of how understanding and non-judgmental she might be.

    So, I echo what others have already said: Walk away. Let her be and let her live her life. It will hurt, but it will hurt less than what is happening now, for both of you - even if she's not conscious of her own distress there is probably some in there somewhere - and you will heal and find your own way to the right person who will complete you and bring you joy, eventually. That may eventually be her, it may not be, but if it is she will have to be the one to come to you, and there is no forcing the matter. Pushing things will likely cause more harm than good.

    And don't forget, this is only one life of many. It may not happen in this one, but it may in the next - or perhaps the connection you feel is a memory from one in the past.

    As an aside, speaking to the perceived worry about acceptance of non-hetero genders... Webimpulse has spoken of The Art of Living school on this. I have been studying Nandinatha Saiva Siddhanta through Himalayan Academy and both Gurudeva Subramuniyaswamy and Satguru Veylanswami have stated clearly that it is accepted that some are born with what they term "tretia prithvi", which I understand to mean 3rd Nature. The second question in This Video goes a little deeper into this, as one example. I use this one simply because it was easiest for me to find quickly.

    All the best to you, I deeply hope that this pain passes quickly.

    ~Pranam-s
    ~~~~~
    What has Learning profited a man, if it has not led him to worship the good feet of Him who is pure knowledge itself?
    They alone dispel the mind's distress, who take refuge at the feet of the incomparable one.
    ~~Tirukural 2, 7

    Anbe Sivamayam, Satyame Parasivam

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    Re: When it comes to Love Does Hindu's really practise what it preaches?

    Quote Originally Posted by Samantha3d View Post
    Hello..

    She would say she is liberal and how she is so supportive same sex relationships but yet it appears that she is a ball of confusion when it comes to it all.. I am not looking to have a relationship. I will happy to just be friends..
    Namaste
    Since when did supporting same sex marriage equal sporting with the same sex
    I support equality as a tax abiding citizen knowing very well that the road i drive on is built with the money given by me and also gay citizens but that doesn’t make me gay. In anycase i am a progressive guy who happens to be interested in Hinduism because he found it to be the most liberal amongst all religions. However if you happen to meet a hindu who is anti gay thats because of his cultural impact and not spiritual impact.. Spirituality which is the base for hinduism is permanent while culture isn’t.
    HInduism however talks of regulated sex for procreation which is applicable obviously to heterosexuals . But then i dont think most hindus follow that because that would mean a man with two kids having sex only twice with his wife in his entire lifetime.

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    Re: When it comes to Love Does Hindu's really practise what it preaches?

    hari o
    ~~~~~~
    namasté

    As I see with most of us humans we tend to group and categorize...
    Something goes sideways and we look to the other person ( or group) and say, see that's how they are! Now who is this 'they' ?
    • a hindu
    • a democrat
    • a republican
    • a christian
    • a jew
    • a nationalist
    • an independent
    • a muslim
    • a liberal
    • a communist
    • an african
    • a man from mars
    • a person from the south, north, east or west
    • a __________ ( fill in the blank as you see fit)
    • a bla-bla-bla person, group, club, political party
    In every case it is this silly ego filled with vāsanā-s that promulgates all these issues. S/he hurt me, I am tired of him; they're no good, I cannot trust tommy, billy, yajvan, sandi, joey; I hate dogs, cats, birds , mice. All this small-small things that mean nothing in passing and within the big picture of who you really are.

    Turn your attention to where one perceives all this ~noise~. Who ( or what) is do the perceiving ? Thoughts come and go - this is where the noise it at. Thought ( and some say emotions) are tourists, they are not the landlords of the mind, nor are they paying tenant-s!

    iti śiva


    1. vāsanā - impressions in the mind-stuff
    Last edited by yajvan; 14 June 2014 at 06:22 PM.
    यतस्त्वं शिवसमोऽसि
    yatastvaṁ śivasamo'si
    because you are identical with śiva

    _

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