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Thread: Beautiful and attractive ? Beware ...

  1. #1
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    Beautiful and attractive ? Beware ...

    Namaste friends,

    Last day I was thinking over what brings misery and sufferings to us ? I zeroed on these things : First place goes to things which look beautiful to us and are attractive to our mind. Second place goes to our unnecessary fear of body-pain and death.

    Any thoughts ???

    OM
    Last edited by devotee; 30 August 2014 at 02:30 AM.
    "Om Namo Bhagvate Vaasudevaye"

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    Re: Beautiful and attractive ? Beware ...

    Quote Originally Posted by devotee View Post
    Namaste friends,

    Last day I was thinking over what brings misery and sufferings to us ? I zeroed on one thing : First place goes to things which look beautiful to us and are attractive to our mind. Second place goes to our unnecessary fear of body-pain and death.

    Any thoughts ???

    OM
    Namaste Ji,


    The same thing is said by the wise sages in our scriptures and Buddha Gautama also declared the same to be the cause of suffering.
    He dances in the golden hall of Chidambaram, Let us worship His rosy anklet girt Feet.

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    Re: Beautiful and attractive ? Beware ...

    Devotee ji,

    Your musing reminds me of 'Bhaja Govindam'.

    DROP THE DESIRE OF ACCUMULATING WEALTH, AWAKEN
    RIGHT UNDERSTANDING, MAKE THE MIND DESIRELESS AND BE CONTENTED AND HAPPY WITH WHATSOEVER YOU GAIN THROUGH YOUR OWN LABOR.

    DO NOT BE INFATUATED BY THE BEAUTY, THE BREASTS, THE NAVEL AND THE WAISTLINE OF A WOMAN. THESE ARE NOTHING BUT CONTORTIONS OF FLESH AND FAT – CONTEMPLATE UPON THIS AGAIN AND AGAIN.

    LIFE IS AS TRANSIENT AND UNSTABLE AS A DROPLET ON THE LOTUS LEAF. UNDERSTAND IT WELL THAT THE WORLD IS SUFFERING FROM THE DISEASE OF EGO AND IS WOUNDED BY SORROWS.

    THE FAMILY TAKES INTEREST IN YOU ONLY AS LONG AS YOU ARE CAPABLE OF EARNING MONEY. AS OLD AGE COMES AND THE BODY BECOMES DECREPIT, NO ONE IN THE HOUSE EVEN BOTHERS ABOUT YOU.

    A CHILD IS OBSESSED IN PLAYING GAMES, A YOUNG MAN IS OBSESSED IN YOUNG WOMEN, THE OLD ARE OBSESSED WITH WORRIES. MAN NEVER TURNS TOWARDS THE DIVINE.
    Though the above mentioned factors of going after money, yearning for good-looking women (or men), and so forth, I noticed that the common man of today is possessed with JEALOUSY.

    One is never satisfied with what one has -- one always compares his standing with that of someone more well-placed and takes immediately to jealousy and competitiveness. I think this factor is the primary reason for enmity between even brothers and just totally wipes-out the peace of mind.

    To have a blissful composition, one should get rid of MATSARYA (jealousy).

    Thanks.
    Last edited by Viraja; 30 August 2014 at 08:49 AM.
    jai hanuman gyan gun sagar jai kapis tihu lok ujagar

  4. #4

    Re: Beautiful and attractive ? Beware ...

    Namaste

    Shri ShyAmsundar is the real beauty and the real attraction and He only brings me Ananda (happiness) and more Anand, whereas karma (actions/choices of past and present) brings misery.

    I guess the OP is alluding to apparent and illusory beauty and attraction, but even so,
    I would say the following brings misery
    a) ahaMkAr - ego
    b) vAsanA - desires and expectations owing to ego (attachment to body)
    c) bhay - fear of harm, loss and discomfort related to the body (including familial attachments)

    e.g. expecting that others should respect and should not insult, demean, condemn, belittle. Others should be friendly, not criticize,
    Judging people and accusing them of not see the full potential or the good in others.
    etc.

    What Viraja says is also true. It not only makes the jealous miserable, but also makes the victim of that jealousy miserable. It may in turn result in being a purifying instrument for the victim, as well as a means of burning their karmic fruits.

    Shri KRshNa Govinda Hare MurAre he nAtha nArAyaNa vAsudeva
    Last edited by ameyAtmA; 30 August 2014 at 11:01 PM.
    || Shri KRshNArpaNamastu ||

  5. #5

    Re: Beautiful and attractive ? Beware ...

    Oh and most importantly, you have hit the nail on the head, because Shrila PRabhupAd mentions in his Bhagvad Gita -- KRshNa chose Arjun to narrate the Gita because Arjun was anasUya -- devoid of asUyA (jealousy, envy). Arjun was very compassionate and anasUya - that made him a good candidate to not only be the "calf" to drink the Gita-milk, but also to be KRshNa's favourite sakhA (friend).

    Another example is Atri Rshi's wife AnasUya in whose home BramhA Vishnu Mahesh appeared as Dattatreya.
    Atri == a + tri = beyond the 3 guNa
    AnasUya = an + asUyA = pure and free of jealousy.
    This is why Dattatreya descended (took avatar) in their household.
    || Shri KRshNArpaNamastu ||

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    Re: Beautiful and attractive ? Beware ...

    Namaste Ram, Viraja and Amey,

    Yes, Jealously is one prime factor which cannot be ignored. Actually, what was I thinking when I wrote this ?

    If I look back into my whole life, I find that my demands were limited, desires limited, fear limited when I was single. Then I got married and things started changing. With marriage came wife, children and a fully busy life caring for myself and for them : that we should have a house where "we" all can live happily, that we must earn and save that "we" all can live happily, that we must give good education to our children, that we must take care that they are healthy, well educated and good earners ... that they marry and start more families and so on and so forth.

    Now, for achieving all these mentioned above, we tried hard, we bought anxiety and we exchanged peace of mind.

    We all go through such endless cycles and still we all try to get our children married and get "(un)settled ! What a paradox !

    OM
    "Om Namo Bhagvate Vaasudevaye"

  7. #7

    Re: Beautiful and attractive ? Beware ...

    Quote Originally Posted by devotee View Post
    Namaste Ram, Viraja and Amey,

    Yes, Jealously is one prime factor which cannot be ignored. Actually, what was I thinking when I wrote this ?

    If I look back into my whole life, I find that my demands were limited, desires limited, fear limited when I was single. Then I got married and things started changing. With marriage came wife, children and a fully busy life caring for myself and for them : that we should have a house where "we" all can live happily, that we must earn and save that "we" all can live happily, that we must give good education to our children, that we must take care that they are healthy, well educated and good earners ... that they marry and start more families and so on and so forth.

    Now, for achieving all these mentioned above, we tried hard, we bought anxiety and we exchanged peace of mind.

    We all go through such endless cycles and still we all try to get our children married and get "(un)settled ! What a paradox !

    OM
    Namaste,

    I do get what you were saying, in the OP itself. I have also been observing how our simple needs and simple living gets all those add-ons when we start a new life and we give it labels -- "duty", "kartavya" etc.
    Not only that, ShyAmsundar gave you a break in the middle of all this, an opportunity to stay with Him, an option, and you turned your back to it and chose the usual route. Now it is His turn to watch and smile at all your comic endeavours.
    "You do what you have to do, dear one, but it is not going to work." "This project is not going to last long either." .

    Yea go ahead, Keshav, laugh. And thanks for those FYIs - at least they make me ready to face it -- "karmaNyavAdhikArashte mA phaleshu kadAchana..."

    Regarding children, I always said that we are dragging them to face outward "so that they are ready to face society" when in truth they will have to UNDO all that was "taught" in the end. Why not leave them alone? But we can't.
    Especially the quiet introverted children, who do not have peer pressure, who do not strive to be like their peers, to fit in etc., could be channelized to go further inwards, and towards spirituality. Instead, the society coerces them to "have peers" and "be like everyone else"

    I remember in my childhood also, it was considered abnormal to stay to myself or have just one or two friends, especially my grandparents and other relatives thought I should be more outgoing and blend more into "ways of the world" "vyavahAr" . Being oblivious to what most people your age look forward to was considered a negative thing.
    || Shri KRshNArpaNamastu ||

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    Re: Beautiful and attractive ? Beware ...

    Namaste,
    Indeed! I have been thinking of this paradox for many years. My own conclusion is that 'we' don't want be 'lonely' thus this whole chakravieu. I guess our ancestors were smart therefore the message of action without attachment. As yajvan would say, pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.


    Quote Originally Posted by devotee View Post
    Namaste

    Now, for achieving all these mentioned above, we tried hard, we bought anxiety and we exchanged peace of mind.

    We all go through such endless cycles and still we all try to get our children married and get "(un)settled ! What a paradox !

    OM
    Last edited by satay; 31 August 2014 at 11:20 AM.
    satay

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    Re: Beautiful and attractive ? Beware ...

    Namaste,

    Quote Originally Posted by satay View Post
    My own conclusion is that 'we' don't want be 'lonely' thus this whole chakravieu.
    You are right ! My first posting was in Kinnaur and that was a Hydel project. Due to tough terrain, usually, young Engineers only opted for the postings. So, many of us were singles and we really enjoyed our lives until my friends started getting married one after the other. I soon found that my friend's houses which were anytime open to us for engaging in all sorts of activities and merry making without any hitch didn't remain so after marriages. Where there was no formality .... the cultures in those homes became more and more formal. .... and one day I found that I was only a few of those who were alone in their houses !

    .... and loneliness took its tall soon enough !

    OM
    "Om Namo Bhagvate Vaasudevaye"

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    Re: Beautiful and attractive ? Beware ...

    Namaste ji,

    I agree with much of what has been said and wanted (desire?) to be bold and offer some of my own, fairly unoriginal, thoughts.

    I have heard it said that "suffering" is simply another word for experience. In this light, even pleasure and joy are forms of suffering, we "suffer" the experience of these things/feelings as much as we do their opposites. Indeed, one cannot experience one without knowing the other.
    He who, with firm intellect and free from doubt, rejoices not on obtaining what is pleasant and does not feel perturbed on meeting with the unpleasant, that knower of Brahma lives eternally in identity with Brahma.
    ...
    The pleasures which are born of sense-contacts are verily a source of suffering only, (though appearing as enjoyable to worldly-minded people). They have a beginning and an end, (they come and go); Arjuna, it is for this reason that a wise man does not indulge in them.
    As AmeyAtmA and others have said so well above, suffering is born of Ego's attachment to the material, which drives actions triggered by desire. We desire to have pleasure and to avoid pain; pleasures we perceive in the world or perceive and then covet in others, pain we see around us and in others as well. We desire to enjoy what our material and cultural senses call beauty and attractiveness and avoid what they perceive as gross, dirty or ugly. We desire 'experience' of the material senses. In acting out these desires of the Ego we suffer, regardless of how that suffering is perceived.

    True beauty is not dictated by the senses or by a culture, people or aesthetic. Like supreme consciousness, it simply is. Beauty is everything we perceive and do not perceive. It is the birth of a star, the mindless crush of a singularity, the primordial ooze, the lion bringing down its prey, the breaking down of organic matter after a soul has passed, the birth of any newborn, the bloom of a flower, the boom and flash of lightning and the roar of a tornado. Beauty is the Dance and the Song in every form and devoid of form. Sri Bhagavan is imminent in and transcends all this, so everything is Beautiful.
    Attraction and repulsion are rooted in all sense-objects. Man should never allow himself to be swayed by them, because they are the two principal enemies standing in the way of his redemption.
    ...
    As fire is covered by smoke, mirror by dust, and embryo by the amnion, so is knowledge covered by desire.
    When I can stop and remind myself of this, it gives me a kind of peace and joy, bliss, which in my experience nothing else in material experience can hold a candle to. It is so incredibly difficult to live as a householder and still let go of one's desires and be happy with what one has and remember all in the world, in the highest view, is love and beauty... I agree, Sri Bhagavan must surely be chortling at times. I try and remember that in tough times, and picture it, as it helps me to let go and laugh a little as well.

    Interestingly, I am only ever lonely when among groups of people who seem to interact easily. When left to my own devices, I am usually quite happy. Seeing how easily others interact makes me want that too, though when I try it usually leaves me more anxious than happy... I've been told so often since I was a kid that I'm not "normal" in this way, yet "normal" has so many different definitions depending on the person you ask. It seems to me every person is unique in their own way, there is some way each person doesn't conform to a majority. People seem to strive for this unattainable "normalcy" and conformity, thinking it will make them happy... They strive for it for their children too, for the same reason, caught up in the drama of life.

    I like the paradox you outline, Devoteeji, it's very true.

    ~Pranam
    ~~~~~
    What has Learning profited a man, if it has not led him to worship the good feet of Him who is pure knowledge itself?
    They alone dispel the mind's distress, who take refuge at the feet of the incomparable one.
    ~~Tirukural 2, 7

    Anbe Sivamayam, Satyame Parasivam

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