Treating one's husband, one's parents, or one's guru with the same respect one would normally give a deva is not "materialistic." It is an extension of the upaniShadic idea that the is the indwelling controller of all jIvAtmA-s. Thus, it is really the case (in the example of wives and husbands) that a lady's pati is indeed her deity, as per traditional Hindu culture.
Someone may ask, is it not also that case that paramAtmA is within the jIva of the wife also, and so should not husband should treat wife as a Deity? Although the first part is true, the meditation on the wife as a man's Deity is not prescribed in shAstra, and so it is not followed like that. Still, the husband has to recognize the presence of paramAtmA within his wife and treat her compassionately.
In brihadAraNyaka upaniShad, yagnavAlkya explains this to his wife before taking sannyAsa - "it is not for one's self that one holds the wife dear, but for the sake of the Atman (paramAtmA)." This is repeated twice in the upaniShad, and it underscores the spiritual basis for proper family relations in traditional Hinduism. If the Lord wanted everyone to be "equal" and "treated equally," then He would have arranged for shAstra-s that prescribe that.
But the fact is, dharma is not "equal" for men and women.
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