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Thread: Self Control is a Virtue

  1. #1

    Self Control is a Virtue

    Self Control is considered a Virtue.. I fail at this almost everyday and I really bugs me.. I've tried many things to stop certain practices but I have always failed.. I have 2 problems.. That is Gluttony, and self fornication.. I don't know what to do.

  2. #2
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    Re: Self Control is a Virtue

    Quote Originally Posted by Tirisilex View Post
    Self Control is considered a Virtue.. I fail at this almost everyday and I really bugs me.. I've tried many things to stop certain practices but I have always failed.. I have 2 problems.. That is Gluttony, and self fornication.. I don't know what to do.
    Namaste Tris,

    I think the very fact of your knowing of these problems will gradually evolve successfully to overcoming the desires. I am afflicted with same problems and more; let us strive together.

    I pray to Lord and make vows to Lord of the intention to desist from indulgence, at least for a time period. Scriptures say that a vow of 40 days is auspicious but one can start small. When I fail, I try again. Slowly, the self in you that is infintely stronger than the desiring mind and senses that are the servants of the self, will allow you to assert the control.

    Best Wishes and Regards.

    Om Namah Shivaya
    That which is without letters (parts) is the Fourth, beyond apprehension through ordinary means, the cessation of the phenomenal world, the auspicious and the non-dual. Thus Om is certainly the Self. He who knows thus enters the Self by the Self.

  3. #3

    Re: Self Control is a Virtue

    Pranam

    Nice of you to acknowledge your situation. We all are on the same boat.

    What works for me best is this. I try to see exactly what my transcendental goal is. In my case, my goal is to think more of Krishna every single day. So I try to do activities that will remind me of God.

    Doing more of Krishna conscious activities, takes care of the unnecessary physical urges that can take me far away from my goal.

    So I think setting a clear goal for yourself is a very important step.

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    Re: Self Control is a Virtue

    Namaste Tirisilex,

    I admire you for being so honest and straightforward with the rest of the forum. I guarantee you, you are not alone in the journey (and struggle) to self-mastery. You have made your thoughts public to the rest of us. I consider that a very good, solid 1st step to learning this self-control we all should cultivate within ourselves. Already you are better now than you were before. But this is only the beginning. Self-awareness is the key: it is the greatest spiritual tool that you have. Begin to make use of it everyday. As Atanu and Jivattatva point out, if you are finding it difficult to forego instant bodily fulfillment, focus your energies and thoughts on the Lord in bhakti yoga and prayer. With your mind fixed on Him, less and less will your mind will fall into the lower realms of consciousness.

    God Bless,

    OM Shanti
    "Watch your thoughts, they become words.
    Watch your words, they become actions.
    Watch your actions, they become habits.
    Watch your habits, they become your character.
    Watch your character, it becomes your destiny."

    ॐ गं गणपतये नमः
    Om Gam Ganapataye namah

    लोकाः समस्ताः सुखिनो भवन्तु ।
    Lokaah SamastaaH Sukhino Bhavantu

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    Re: Self Control is a Virtue

    Vannakkam Tirisilex:

    Here are some ideas that have worked for me.

    Find or develop a creative hobby, such as gardening, cooking, woodworking. Getting really interested in such things helps to not only distract, but also purify the mind.

    Daily exercise helps. Fresh air does the same thing. The mind is sneaky. If you try to repress rather than distract, it won't work.

    I used to be a smoker, some time ago. I finally succeeded by quitting quitting for awhile. The failure became a pattern in itself. So first I had to break the habit of failure. I decided not to even try quitting for a whole year. Then when I tried again, it worked.

    Still later, under a period of stress, I retook the habit. The second quit was FAR easier than the first because I had already succeeded once and that impression left my subconscious knowing it was possible to succeed.

    I hope you are not being too hard on yourself over this. Each brick builds a temple of a million bricks.

    Aum Namasivaya

  6. #6

    Re: Self Control is a Virtue

    When desires increase, activities increase.

    And when activities increase, desires increase.

    So, what do you achieve through self-control?

    You empty the mind of worldly desires and attachments, and fill the void with the spirit of Truth.

    You strengthen the will-power and buddhi.

    But we all fail in getting it done.

    Let’s try to recall all the unpleasant experiences we had, out of your greed for worldly attachments. That itself will make us control our mind. However tempting the transient happiness maybe, we’ll slowly try to detach ourselves.

    Now, why is self-control a virtue?

    It’s the very core of Vedanta, without it, no one would reach the Goal – the goal of realization of the Ultimate. It’s been pointed out so well by Jivattatva.

    Tiris, you have started loving the Ultimate intensely, and now through spiritual exercises, by spending time for sacred books, singing, meditation, and a loyal determination of realization of your goal, you’ll be , through patience, be rid of objects that are detrimental to your goal.

  7. #7

    Re: Self Control is a Virtue

    Namaste Tirisilex,

    You have been given some excellent advice so far. As others have said, just the fact that you have recognized your problem is a great first step and let's you know that you are on the right path.

    Eastern Mind's advice is great: develop a creative hobby. It could be something as simple as reading novels or reading news on the internet. Or it could be something such as woodworking or learning to play an instrument. The point is just to have something creative and fun to do in order for you to control yourself and fight off your problems.

    Another thing you can do is to take a picture/symbol/emblem of God with you wherever you go. It could be an Aum necklace, a Krishna locket to keep in your pocket, or even a computer printout picture of Shiva to keep in your pocket or wallet. Then, whenever you have to urge to lose control, just take out the picture/symbol/emblem and look at it. Pray to it. Remember that the Lord is everywhere and God is watching you.

    Of course perhaps the most simple yet also the most powerful thing you can do is to just pray. Despite all the things you do, you cannot do it alone. Ask God to guide you in your path to admonish these problems of yours. Ask the Lord to help give you self control. The key words I use are guide and help. Remember that it is up to you as well, and God cannot do everything for you.

    Good luck, Tirisilex. I admire you for identifying your problems and sincerely desiring to rid yourself of them. Follow the advice myself and others have given you, and in time your problems shall go away. I will be praying for you as well.

    Hare Krishna

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    Re: Self Control is a Virtue

    hariḥ oṁ
    ~~~~~

    namasté

    Tirisilex writes,
    Quote Originally Posted by Tirisilex View Post
    Self Control is considered a Virtue.. I fail at this almost everyday and I really bugs me.. I've tried many things to stop certain practices but I have always failed.. I have 2 problems.. That is Gluttony, and self fornication.. I don't know what to do.

    What does self-control imply? It suggests bringing the lower-self under control of the higher Self. It is paśu¹ tendencies the are
    superseded by kevala¹ ( simple, pure, uncompounded).

    What brings us to the higher levels?
    • knowledge and widsom -some call this jnātatā , being known or understood; That of the Divine, the Self, Being, brahman.
    • direct experience of Self
    • śaktipāt - transmission of spiritual power to the aspirant - defined as prostration of strength
    • His grace (anugraha¹) or the guru's grace - some call this the decent of Divine Grace and is = to śaktipāt . Others call this gurūpāyuḥ¹ or the guru is the way.
    • bhakti-rupapaṇa-jñana - love/adoration of the Supreme; knowledge turned into devotion. Some say there are 4 types of
      liberation when this method blooms to its fullest:
      • sāyuja - being united with the Supreme
      • sālokya -living in the land (loka) of the Supreme
      • sāmīpya -nearness to the Supreme
      • sārūpya -obtaining the same form as the Supreme
    One could consider the overall path as a group, yogāṅga - a limb or part of yoga ( gaining Union with the Divine). Patañjali’s yogadarśana calls out 8 in number yama , niyama , āsana , prāṇāyāma , pratyāhāra , dhāraṇā , dhyāna , and samādhi.

    So the grooming begins to transform paśu into realizing śivavyāpti (the Supreme Consciousness ~God Consciousness~); it is said like this:
    When you experience the casting aside the experience of the bound individual (paśu or paśāḥ) and put your consciousness in your own Self that is God Consciousness. It is no further then the SELF -one need not travel to distant lands , it is here inside of you. Individual consciousness is the state of the mind, of diversity; God Consciousness is the state of the Self (ātma).

    but I fall down often ( go back to my old ways) ... Yes, we get back up and proceed again. This is one-pointedness , that is the lesson i.e. being able to get back up. We become akliṣṭa ( non-afflicted, unmoved) over time towards the goal and sooner or later we become aniruddha - without hindrance, unobstructed. Yet one must begin to take the first step.



    praām

    words
    • paśu - any tethered animal; 5 kinds are enumerated men , kine , horses , goats and sheep , some add two more - mules arid asses or camels and dogs
    • kevala - entire, whole, uncompounded; not connected with anything else; pure. Some write kaivalya meaning the state of liberation and defined as detachment from all other connections , detachment of the soul from matter or further trans-migrations
    • gurūpāyuḥ - is from the śiva sūtra-s 2.6.
    • anugraha - favour , kindness , showing favour , conferring benefits , promoting or furthering a good object
    यतसà¥à¤¤à¥à¤µà¤‚ शिवसमोऽसि
    yatastvaṠśivasamo'si
    because you are identical with śiva

    _

  9. #9

    Re: Self Control is a Virtue

    I don't work due to my condition so I have alot of time on my hands. How Much time should I put toward doing a Hobby?? I started a personal chant to try tp help me. Whenever I get the Urge I just start chanting "Self Control is a Virtue." this is to remind myself to walk in the Divine Nature. It's been one day and it has worked so far.

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