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Thread: Namaste

  1. #1
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    Namaste

    Firstly let me apologize to anyone who may be offended by these words and the length of my intro but I wanted to give as much information as I can.

    I am Joseph I was born and raised an American. When I was 3 my father left us, when I was 11 my mother was murdered we were bounced around a bit and after our grandmother died we were orphaned and given to the state. I ran away at 15 which lead me to encounter many different groups. Ananda Marga, ISKCON, RamaKrsna Math, Barshana Dham(Now the JKP? Radha Madhav Dham) Shaiva Siddhanta Church and a couple of others such as Buddhist paths and Sikh. I lived in the asrams of many of those groups except JKP and SSC I never made it down to Texas but I intended to. So from a very young age I was exposed to a lot of groups, whether or not they are viewed as authentic, bogus etc I learned many things from each one.

    I lived in a couple of different bad situations in ISKCON and left burnt out after years on the road as a sankirtan devotee, traveling sankirtan, as well as living in the New Vrindavan community. But it caused me to fall in love with the sanatan dharma system. I have since met devotees from the Narayan Maharaj pure bhakti mission and the ritvik prabhupad temples and a few other movements within ISKCON such as IRM (ISKCON Reform Movement) and mainly due to the amount of infighting and Guru bashing, philosophy speculations and numerous scandals I choose to leave rather than try and find a Guru within that system mainly due to the amount of mental turmoil it causes me.

    I also have encountered SSC Himalayan Academy and bought the Master Course trilogy as well as a few other books by their sampradaya. I love the depth of information and the spirit of those books. Honestly I would love to follow this SSC maybe due to the Saivite nature more than the dogmatic points but I am a poor man and cannot spend thousands of dollars on myself + thousands on my wife to go on innersearch and go to Hawaii for ceremonies. Really trips ANYWHERE even inside the US take months of planning and saving since I make very little money and my wife is a student in College so we do not have the means to be devotees in a fiscal capacity which is what most sampradayas need the most and understandably so.

    Ramakrsna Math was a great experience, so much devotion and dedication but I suppose the same can be said of all monks and persons who dedicate themselves to an order. So after all of these experiences I am left in a state needing upanaya and diksha and there are so many orders and maths and each one is at enmity with the others and so much hypocrisy in places and scandals and etc etc... My wife and I just want to be hindu but there is no way to find Guru here in Idaho. Being born into this sanatan dharma must have been a blessing maybe the wife and I just need to pray to be born brahmins in the next life, being born in sanatan dharma at least there is some direction. Some path you are following in some way from birth and a community. So what are we to do? We want to be hindu but there are so many scammers and self appointed Gurus and such out there. We do bhajans in our home, have a simple shrine of Shiva, Ganesh, Parvati and a Shiva Lingam. We also have Radha Krsna but these are not dieties, they are not installed, not worshipped properly etc.

    We would like to worship them correctly and do more, maybe a home temple for anyone interested in our area but it is so bogus with no Guru if you understand what I am saying? How does one become brahmin if not following some sampradaya? Or is this impossible? Feel free to point out my ignorance and push me and my wife in the proper directions. Do we just memorize as much information we can find on the web since we cannot travel to India and just 'be' braminical and fake it (which I can only assume is offensive to dieties and devotees both so a truly bad idea) what to do? Point me to te right forums and threads and I will appreciate it. Or send me a PM on the board.

  2. #2
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    Re: Namaste

    Vannakkam, and welcome to HDF. I hope your stay is enjoyable.

    Aum Namasivaya

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    Re: Namaste

    Quote Originally Posted by jparkton View Post
    Firstly let me apologize to anyone who may be offended by these words and the length of my intro but I wanted to give as much information as I can.

    I am Joseph I was born and raised an American. When I was 3 my father left us, when I was 11 my mother was murdered we were bounced around a bit and after our grandmother died we were orphaned and given to the state. I ran away at 15 which lead me to encounter many different groups. Ananda Marga, ISKCON, RamaKrsna Math, Barshana Dham(Now the JKP? Radha Madhav Dham) Shaiva Siddhanta Church and a couple of others such as Buddhist paths and Sikh. I lived in the asrams of many of those groups except JKP and SSC I never made it down to Texas but I intended to. So from a very young age I was exposed to a lot of groups, whether or not they are viewed as authentic, bogus etc I learned many things from each one.

    I lived in a couple of different bad situations in ISKCON and left burnt out after years on the road as a sankirtan devotee, traveling sankirtan, as well as living in the New Vrindavan community. But it caused me to fall in love with the sanatan dharma system. I have since met devotees from the Narayan Maharaj pure bhakti mission and the ritvik prabhupad temples and a few other movements within ISKCON such as IRM (ISKCON Reform Movement) and mainly due to the amount of infighting and Guru bashing, philosophy speculations and numerous scandals I choose to leave rather than try and find a Guru within that system mainly due to the amount of mental turmoil it causes me.

    I also have encountered SSC Himalayan Academy and bought the Master Course trilogy as well as a few other books by their sampradaya. I love the depth of information and the spirit of those books. Honestly I would love to follow this SSC maybe due to the Saivite nature more than the dogmatic points but I am a poor man and cannot spend thousands of dollars on myself + thousands on my wife to go on innersearch and go to Hawaii for ceremonies. Really trips ANYWHERE even inside the US take months of planning and saving since I make very little money and my wife is a student in College so we do not have the means to be devotees in a fiscal capacity which is what most sampradayas need the most and understandably so.

    Ramakrsna Math was a great experience, so much devotion and dedication but I suppose the same can be said of all monks and persons who dedicate themselves to an order. So after all of these experiences I am left in a state needing upanaya and diksha and there are so many orders and maths and each one is at enmity with the others and so much hypocrisy in places and scandals and etc etc... My wife and I just want to be hindu but there is no way to find Guru here in Idaho. Being born into this sanatan dharma must have been a blessing maybe the wife and I just need to pray to be born brahmins in the next life, being born in sanatan dharma at least there is some direction. Some path you are following in some way from birth and a community. So what are we to do? We want to be hindu but there are so many scammers and self appointed Gurus and such out there. We do bhajans in our home, have a simple shrine of Shiva, Ganesh, Parvati and a Shiva Lingam. We also have Radha Krsna but these are not dieties, they are not installed, not worshipped properly etc.

    We would like to worship them correctly and do more, maybe a home temple for anyone interested in our area but it is so bogus with no Guru if you understand what I am saying? How does one become brahmin if not following some sampradaya? Or is this impossible? Feel free to point out my ignorance and push me and my wife in the proper directions. Do we just memorize as much information we can find on the web since we cannot travel to India and just 'be' braminical and fake it (which I can only assume is offensive to dieties and devotees both so a truly bad idea) what to do? Point me to te right forums and threads and I will appreciate it. Or send me a PM on the board.
    Namaste Joseph,

    My personal advice

    You have been frank and I will not be less than frank. Wow this story almost scares me. You have so much experience and knowledge and it still is not enough to be a Hindu? Really? And do you really believe you need a guru to be a Hindu? Who told you that? You make it sound like it is something of becoming a professional boxer. Don't you think you have been abused enough? When are you going to wake up?

    just 'be' braminical and fake it (which I can only assume is offensive to dieties and devotees both so a truly bad idea) what to do?
    Who taught you that? Anyone can worship the Gods in his own manner. The Gods are only interested if it is sincere. Mantra's can be used by any devotee. And one is enough, you do not need ten. It is only if you do yagna that you need perfect pronunciation. That should be left to Brahmins, they do that for the community. You do not need that.

    Lets dismiss this misconception that we need priests or gurus to built a relation with the Gods. If they made you believe that, they are simply out for your money. In these matters only purity of heart matters. That alone counts. All the rest is accessory, no more than that. I really do not understand why people try to turn religion in an Olympic sport following exhausting programs and the need to decorate it with all kind of frills. When something becomes a rage nowadays, immediately it is commercialized and a lot of merchandise is created around it. Hinduism is no different. You can redecorate your home with it, but it is all make-belief. If you can not see through that, that is your real problem.

    And all this "knowledge" only messes up your mind. It is like wanting to become a sportsman by eating tons of healthy food. It does not make you a sportsman, it only makes you fat. Never eat without properly digesting and burning the food. That goes for knowledge as well. It should be properly digested before one eats anything more. You have eaten enough for a lifetime and it only left you hungry? Knowledge is no cure for you, it is an addiction. It is an addiction because you are looking for a magic bullet, a holy grale, something that is going to propel you to happiness. Yes the world is full of people kidding themselves, that some belief, some secret formula, some ritual, some meditation, some exercise, or some technique is going to make them happy. The world is full of suckers for happiness and full of smart businessmen to serve them. Your resume here is an invitation to be abused. Please abuse me, I will try anything and pay for it. Like someone that tried ten weight-loss programs and is looking for the eleventh, because he still feels fat.

    Get real. you are a young man trying to start a family. Put your means and energy in that. Try to educate yourself, learn a trade, work hard, seek opportunities to create a good income to support a family. Invest your energy in that. Do not seek a magic formula for happiness. Happiness starts with being content with what is within your means and go from there. You want to be Hindu? follow Dharm. Observing the ten yamas and niyamas is enough (review them periodically, internalize them). Find the Deva/Devi that vibrates most strongly in your heart, and do simple but sincere puja every day, and he/she will guide you. That is it. That will make you strong enough to meet the challenges life will throw at you. It will also make you strong and independent of the advice of others. It will build you good loving relationships. Be honest, be sincere. Yes, above all keep it simple. Everything else is only going to distract you from your main dharm, to be a good housholder (grihastha).

    You had a difficult start in life, you managed to overcome these bad experiences and heal from them. Now get back on the road, and do what we all have to do, dharm. Don't come back before you have a proper income.

    Good luck!
    Last edited by Avyaydya; 25 January 2014 at 09:01 PM.

  4. #4

    Re: Namaste

    double
    Last edited by Avyaydya; 24 January 2014 at 07:19 PM.

  5. #5
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    Re: Namaste

    Namaste

    I hope this forum will aid you in tackling all your fears/misconceptions/questions & help you sit in peace as a 'hindu'.

    Welcome to the forum dear friend, see you around the boards.

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    Re: Namaste

    Namaste Joseph,

    Welcome to the forums.

    What you have passed through is past. We can only think of future. From spiritual POV, it can be said that Suffering is a way to get back to truth.

    We do not know where our life takes us. There is nothing wrong in changing sampradAya-s (different sects) of Hindu dharma or even changing to different religion. It is called as 'soul is seeking'. At some time, you will settle down. Our brain is such that it forgets info that is either easily accessible or it does not need to remember i.e. it is not important (for you). e.g. is before the advent of cell phones, elders tell me that they used to remember 30-40 telephone numbers, but now they hardly remember 4-5 numbers. Same is with the knowledge. Earlier we used to remember many words. Now since the meaning of word is just a few clicks away, mind does not remember it. So do not worry what has happened.

    To be a Hindu, it is not necessary to live like a traditional Hindu. The question you have addressed is a vast topic and needs another thread. Perhaps an intro section is not good place to discuss.

    I will try to answer in brief.

    Dharma shastra-s (moral and ethical codes, law and order) are blended with spirituality.


    VarNa gives natural edge to learn religious customs from young age. But today, many people do not follow dharma and occupation entrusted to them by birth. Today, varNa dharma messed.


    VarNa, when followed properly, according to the injunctions of shastra-s, ensures gradual spiritual progress, even though the goal is not moksha.


    Veda-s and dharma shastra-s lay down some restriction on who can chant veda-s, who cannot. To overcome this issue, another set of shastra-s called Agama-s were created by great rishi-s, which are revered by all. Agama-s are step-by-step rituals for temple worship. But they are not restricted to just external worship. They connect us directly with God. Shaiva Agamas- give step by step instruction from external rites and rituals to mixed external rites and internal yogic process and later on totally internal yogi process. These are called tantra-s. Tantra-s remove the restrictions laid down by shastra-s like shudra-s and women are not allowed to chant veda-s.


    This is why Shaiva schools and mostly yoga schools do not adhere to caste (varna) system and are open to all. The simplest form of spirituality is to chant hare rama hare krishna mantra, where there are no rules and regulations needed.


    In general, Hinduism is a way of life. So if you are following tenets of Hindu dharma, you already are a practising Hindu. Most westerners are attracted towards spiritual aspects and not varNa aspects (varNa is occupation based). In spirituality it is bhAva (spiritual emotions) that are considered more important than mere external rites. It is true that a Guru is necessary. But this does not mean that if you do not have a Guru, you cannot progress. Guru is a medium of God. It is God who makes arrangements for meeting of Guru and shishya (disciple). We should leave this issue to God. Until then, we should keep praying and continue what we are doing. Always pray to God to show correct way and give what is best for you. Let all karmas and their fruits be surrendered to God.


    One thing is sure that westerners also can practice Hinduism. There reason is that many saints have travelled to west to preach. All this cannot happen without God's grace. If souls are not ready to learn, then such thing would not have happened.



    I hope you get what you are looking for in HDF



    Just one question – Do you do nama Japa (chanting of mantra of any deity)?


    Hari OM


    Amrut
    Only God Is Truth, Everything Else Is Illusion - Ramakrishna
    Total Surrender of Ego to SELF is Real Bhakti - Ramana Maharshi

    Silence is the study of the scruptures. Meditation is the continuous thinking of Brahman which is to be meditated upon. The complete negation of both by knowledge is the vision of truth – sadAcAra-14 of Adi SankarAcArya

    namah SivAya vishnurUpAya viShNave SivarUpiNe, MBh, vanaparva, 3.39.76

    Sanskrit Dict | MW Dict | Gita Super Site | Hindu Dharma

  7. #7
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    Re: Namaste

    Namaste JParkton Bhakta

    Why do you think you have to "be a brahmin"? In India, I have met those who said they are brahmin (at least they said so, but how can actually anyone know other than character, gunas? ... many say they are all sorts of things but they are in maya ... ) who were far "worse off" than the situation you describe yourself in, including spiritual crisis and not just poverty. It seems you may have already encountered perhaps a person who said they are a "guru", maybe that person said he or she is a brahmin too. Did it work out?

    Essentially, you explain a spiritual anchoring which you seek but economic situations prevent travel, prevent other things circumstantially, as obstacles.

    When you invite suggestions, you can get all sorts responses ranging from telling you that you are "not worthy" to have spiritual and economic freedom to totally wild suggestions such as "perhaps you should move to North Dakota".

    I will get to North Dakota in a minute, but first I think your situational problem right now is a question of money as much as it is about who to take diksha from or some spiritual crisis. I know that sounds "materialistic" and even blunt, you probably do not like to hear it. I am not saying money is the "answer" (especially for the spirit), you could live in a wealthy place and the next thing you know face a disaster worse than yours - a dirty bomb could blow up all of your loved ones (if any are left these days) using an extreme example, and certainly the odds of Al Qaeda blowing up Los Angeles Disneyland or Wall Street in N.Y. and all 30 miles surrounding are much higher than a dirty bomb blowing up some town in Idaho. I am using this very bad analogy only to set the scene of my response. You can find yourself living wealthy in a rich place and suffer what you think is suffering.

    I have lots of money. All thanks to my brain and innovation and a bit of luck and using time wisely and taking risk but logically planned risk in investments and so on. I also have lots of spiritual opportunity, have been "adopted" into Hinduism since 8 years old, love Hinduism and my Hindu friends and relatives, yes you can "chew gum and walk at the same time" as the saying goes. I am not sure you are a Saiva, seems you worship Siva and Parvati like me, but I am a Saiva and no I am not delegated to reading "unrestricted Agamas", I am proud of the truth and I am going to take the opportunity and laugh at others who think otherwise.

    Regarding money, no it is not the "answer" but it is sometimes helpful, I think honestly you (and specific to you and not to everyone) need more money to open the avenue to broaden your opportunity a little more. Money is not the answer for everyone's situation, but my gut tells me some extra pocket change would help your spiritual goals. I predict your response will be that you are above such materialism, perhaps you are but I wish money for you anyway.

    I have been familiar with most of the "groups" you have noted over the decades. In fact, it would not surprise me that I have personally met you in the past (even if I might or might not recollect your name, I have literally met vast numbers of Hindus including in other parts of the world). I even visited the West Virginia ISKCON center which had so many scandals, though I am not ISKCON, I am Saiva. Actually, I am a Hindu who simply lives and actually enjoys life, but one of the problems I have is other Hindus try to "latch on" to me to live or relive Hindu happy times and so I have to avoid them in some cases because I am a grihastha and honestly am not big on "rescue" if you know what I mean.

    Another example of why living in a "nice economic zone" doesn't mean everything will be "great" is a personal example. I never really have "bad luck", nor have I had adondonement or other things, in my life. The first time "bad luck" was only a week ago, when driving in one of the most "rich" towns in the world, some pot smoking drunk went smashing into the back of my sedan while we were stopped at a red light, and sending my wife to the hospital in an ambulance. Remarkably, after the prayers and support of fellow Hindus and Hindu relatives and friends, she has made an almost incredible rejuvenation, and the slug who did this is going to suffer criminal punishment and economic ruin for years to come. Do I feel sorry for the slug? No. I foresee even some extra money coming, probably to be used for a vacation trip India.

    So that is my introduction and welcome from me to your rather long and personal introduction. I have hardly any problems in my view, but I see you as a fellow seeker who has had some prublems ...

    Someone already suggested "introductions" are not the place for this, I agree, but they didn't even follow their own "standards" so why should I? So let me just cut to the chase on what I want to zero in on in relation to your current predicament. I know it is only one aspect, but I have a gut it is a key factor - and that is economics and money.

    I suppose you could become a sannyasin, i.e. why be a "brahmin", or a temple priest or other such thing, if you want a direct path to spirituality, then take to the Sannyasa order or become a Sadhu. Right?

    Did you? But I think you are not going to do that, or even if you thought yourself as one, I do not think you are one now. It takes a certain level of, well, bravery. So let us get back to economics.

    You say you live in Idaho. I have been there, when the weather is nice, but I wouldn't live there for different reasons including weather. But it is beautiful, and the poorest of poor living in the situation or perhaps in a spiritual predicamrnt as you describe are both economically and spiritually in better position than what I have observed for vast numbers of others in my travels in the world.

    As of December just past, unemployment in Idaho dropped from 8.8 percent in June 2010 to 6.1 today. Only states as South Carolina and New Jersey can match it, and one other I will mention in a minute if you take the moment to listen in even though I am not discussing next lives, brahmin this, or what you can or cannot read, and may not be answering your diksha quest, just hang in there.

    Now even 6.1 isn't good, I know. And I am missing some vital information about you in regards to health that can clarify your situation. This "ecomomic recovery" in the US over the past 6 to 8 years has been the worst in American history. It really stinks, and the domino effect is ruining many good people. To be honest, I have bad news, I see signs that the very weak upturn is about to go bad again for the next few years unless dramatic changes come. Your relatives going to college may not be able to find a real job after college.

    You can escape this.

    But only if you are healthy and brave. If you are not, I apologize for wasting your time, but it doesn't change the spirit of my hope for you that you get up and find a job that pays good money somehow, it will likely mean you must move to a new place which isn't easy but you need to be bold. I think perhaps you spent too much time giving "pranams" to fake "teachers" in all likelihood, vital time taken from you in all sorts of ways and while you did get spiritual effort and development, I predict you could have also have had such spiritual advancement without spending a lot of precious time bowing to corrupt "gurus". Also be very careful about faceless internet Hindus, some of which could even be lunatics.

    So I am about to suggest something to you, which may not be practicle to you if you are unhealthy. But if you can walk two miles around a jogging track, I think it is possible. You will have all the money and more to fly to Hawaii or whatever else you think may benefit your path, including going to India (have you been there yet? It is a must, and a great incentive to save and earn money to do so...)...

    One of the worst places to live as far as cold, weather, is North Dakota. Have you been there? But folks live in worse weather in Canada, and with the cold cycle that seems to now have started (and some predict will go on for decades) large parts of the Northern US and East are pretty miserable too.

    In 2006 came the first big, initial oil strikes. In 2012, it has really taken off in North Dakota. ND has the lowest unemployment in the United States, literally under 1 percent off and on. These are jobs related to the oil industry. It does not mean necessarily outdoor work, this includes office and management and so on. Hiring is at all levels, and in the examples the pay is typically 100,000 dollars or more a year starting. They want people, they don't care about your "background". You can apply for such jobs remotely such as via resumes sent from other states, you do not necessarily have to "first drive there".

    If that is not for you, that is fine, but I think you need to keep your eyes open towards new horizons.

    Personally, I would not move to North Dakota, or Texas, or some of the other areas where people are now economically "making it", because I don't need to. But did you know that over half of ALL THE JOB GAINS in the last few years for the entire United States in the (rather lame) touting from the Federal government stats to try and give a positive face to their failures, that over half of all such gains have actually come from only one state?

    And that state is Texas, a state the current government hates.

    A lot of money is being "distrubuted" in North Dakota. North Carolina has been good. Even New Jersey under the current governor. Look around.

    Om Namah Sivaya

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    Re: Namaste

    Thank you to all who replied. When I submitted this thread I forgot to subscribe so I haven't been able to reply. I will address each one in the morning.


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    Smile Re: Namaste

    Finally had enough time to read all the replies. I tried to answer as clearly as possible but I may have failed.

    Quote Originally Posted by Avyaydya View Post
    And do you really believe you need a guru to be a Hindu?
    Namaste Avyaydya,
    In a way yes, but also no. I believe to be a 'Hindu' one only needs to believe in and practice the system of Hinduism. Varnasram Dharma does not require a Guru per se, but in order for an outsider to be a member of that system you need to feel like you belong. I believe in the system of Hinduism but I am not a member of any sampradaya. I would like to be but I need to find one that isnt in it for the money, has not been accused of numerous scandals or the like. I may not ever find one and that is fine I will simply go on chanting the prayers I do know and build my devotion in a limited capacity

    Quote Originally Posted by Avyaydya View Post
    It is only if you do yagna that you need perfect pronunciation. That should be left to Brahmins, they do that for the community.
    I would like to be able to do my own yagna. I have seen it done many times and I loved the effect it produces both devotional and environmental and I would like to be able to do it in my home.

    Quote Originally Posted by Avyaydya View Post
    Lets dismiss this misconception that we need priests or gurus to built a relation with the Gods. If they made you believe that, they are simply out for your money. In these matters only purity of heart matters. That alone counts.
    This is what most places teach. Without 'us' you can not know God, or you CAN know him but in a strictly limited capacity.

    Quote Originally Posted by IcySupreme View Post
    Namaste,
    I hope this forum will aid you in tackling all your fears/misconceptions/questions & help you sit in peace as a 'hindu'. Welcome to the forum dear friend, see you around the boards.
    Namaste IcySupreme, I appreciate your heartfelt words and I hope to see you around as well

    Quote Originally Posted by Amrut View Post
    To be a Hindu, it is not necessary to live like a traditional Hindu. The question you have addressed is a vast topic and needs another thread. Perhaps an intro section is not good place to discuss.
    I will start another thread but felt it needed to be a good introduction and I tend to ramble so it somehow got included. I also really appreciate the discussion you linked me to. I have had lots of suffering but I believe without this life of suffering I never would have had the experinces I have had. Some people live more than one life and still dont get the honor of meeting as many rich traditions as I have had in a short life of 36yrs.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amrut View Post
    Veda-s and dharma shastra-s lay down some restriction on who can chant veda-s, who cannot. To overcome this issue, another set of shastra-s called Agama-s were created by great rishi-s, which are revered by all. Agama-s are step-by-step rituals for temple worship. But they are not restricted to just external worship. They connect us directly with God. Shaiva Agamas- give step by step instruction from external rites and rituals to mixed external rites and internal yogic process and later on totally internal yogi process. These are called tantra-s. Tantra-s remove the restrictions laid down by shastra-s like shudra-s and women are not allowed to chant veda-s.
    This is a great breakdown of what the Shastras and Tantra Agamas are! Thank you for this. You gave me a lot to read and look into. Being born outside of Varna I am considered lower than a shudra so Tantra has always attracted me. I love the ritual and yantras, so much to contemplate on. Maybe this is why I have always been attracted to Shiva and Saivism.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amrut View Post
    Just one question – Do you do nama Japa (chanting of mantra of any deity)?
    Of course! I chant Om Namah Sivaya the most, maybe because it is short and simple. Easier to meditate on Lord Shiva for me than other dieties maybe because I am more familiar with his murtis and pictures. I also chant the Hare Krsna mantra mainly as bhajans not the Japa so much I try to do 5 rounds of each daily plus my meditation and simple aarti and offering meals to my Shiva Lingam and Statues of Shiva, Parvati, Ganesh.

    I also do some other practices I have learned over the years, but researching them has taught me they were 'modified' by the places I learned them so I don't even know if I should be doing them. For instance a 'ritual' after taking my baths / showers there is a Mantra that is said, I believe from the Rg Veda but I am not certain I became a bit disillusioned when I found out I was doing some modified mantra / ritual so I rarely do it. Although I think about the reasoning (saluting the ancestors and Rishis) every time I bathe so maybe that is enough for now LOL

    Quote Originally Posted by ShivaFan View Post
    Why do you think you have to "be a brahmin"?
    I never really thought about it, I suppose I don't NEED to be a brahmin but I really WANT to be one? I know I can be a 'Hindu' and worship alone in my home and just 'Know thyself, by thyself' so to speak but I would really like to be able to perform the homas and aarti properly maybe more for myself than for my diety. That may be wrong feel free to correct me.

    Quote Originally Posted by ShivaFan View Post
    In India, I have met those who said they are brahmin (at least they said so, but how can actually anyone know other than character, gunas? ... many say they are all sorts of things but they are in maya ... ) who were far "worse off" than the situation you describe yourself in, including spiritual crisis and not just poverty. It seems you may have already encountered perhaps a person who said they are a "guru", maybe that person said he or she is a brahmin too. Did it work out?
    Alas no, and we may have met the same people! I even have one friend here in USA who was raised Brahmin and in India but he refuses to go to a temple or even speak about Hinduism, he says it is all just a scam he removed his threads and just quit. Maybe one day he will return I hope so, I would love to learn from him.

    Quote Originally Posted by ShivaFan View Post
    Regarding money, no it is not the "answer" but it is sometimes helpful, I think honestly you (and specific to you and not to everyone) need more money to open the avenue to broaden your opportunity a little more. Money is not the answer for everyone's situation, but my gut tells me some extra pocket change would help your spiritual goals. I predict your response will be that you are above such materialism, perhaps you are but I wish money for you anyway.
    Haha heck no, money makes the world go around. I wish more pocket change myself it seems money is what God needs the most of, Temples always ask for money to build a larger temple or like in the past three ISKCON (Bad example I know) temples I went to each was offering for devotees to donate $1,008 for a square foot of their new temples. Each new temple was in a different place as well not for one large project like the Mayapur temple or something. Seems God is just as broke as I am which makes me feel a little better.

    Quote Originally Posted by ShivaFan View Post
    In fact, it would not surprise me that I have personally met you in the past
    I wouldn't be surprised at all! I have been in all 50 US States and a couple Canadian ones I am sure we have talked before somewhere

    Quote Originally Posted by ShivaFan View Post
    But only if you are healthy and brave. If you are not, I apologize for wasting your time, but it doesn't change the spirit of my hope for you that you get up and find a job that pays good money somehow, it will likely mean you must move to a new place which isn't easy but you need to be bold. I think perhaps you spent too much time giving "pranams" to fake "teachers" in all likelihood, vital time taken from you in all sorts of ways and while you did get spiritual effort and development, I predict you could have also have had such spiritual advancement without spending a lot of precious time bowing to corrupt "gurus". Also be very careful about faceless internet Hindus, some of which could even be lunatics.
    You know I believe you, I think if I had not ran away at such a young age and met all of these groups I would have kept in school, went to college and be doing somewhat better in life. I have that regret and I tried to make it right and go to school but I had to work 3 jobs and go to school and wound up homeless because of getting fired from one because I kept falling asleep. Who knew 3 hours on a train everyday wasnt enough sleep to live on. So I completed my first semester but homelessness kept me from going back my next one so I got that one semester of debt and I cant seem to pay it no matter how hard I try to be consistant with the payments.

    Once I get that done I can go back to school and get better at what I do (Web Development & Programming) and move up the chain from freelancer to developer and maybe not. Maybe that plan never works out but life will move on regardless of those things. And sanyassi is not my path for now. I thought about it a LOT when I was with these groups and I wanted to be a sadhu but I wasn't able to devote myself to one path. I don't feel like one path of Hinduism is my path. I love them all and philosophically I may align with one more than others I still feel comfortable going to any temple and praise any diety. I don't know if it is correct but I don't see Vishnu any different than Shiva really. I feel more like they are different approaches to God more than different Gods although I may be wrong

    Quote Originally Posted by ShivaFan View Post
    So I am about to suggest something to you, which may not be practicle to you if you are unhealthy. But if you can walk two miles around a jogging track, I think it is possible. You will have all the money and more to fly to Hawaii or whatever else you think may benefit your path, including going to India (have you been there yet? It is a must, and a great incentive to save and earn money to do so...)...
    Moving at this point is not an option although I have looked into jobs in ND not really Texas. I was in Fort Bliss in TX and that was enough TexAss for me. The wife has to finish a couple more semesters here before she can transfer to another college. ISU is not as good a school as they portray. But she is going through the Social Work path and wants to go into Forestry 'Environmantal Social Work' I believe is the label. Then we can find a school she can transfer to and take that course. Currently I am on disability for my blindness and PTSD issues from the years of abuse and trauma I went through in my younger years but I am taking this time to improve my skills in programming and taking free online courses to get better so maybe I can make some money freelance and pay off my student loan of c.$4000 and go back to school and complete my studies.

    P.S. Thank you ALL for your sincere welcomes and feel free to add me as a friend on here or any of the famed social networks I am blind and sit at home writing code all day so I have free time to chat. I love you all and hope to hear much more from you.

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    Re: Namaste

    Quote Originally Posted by jparkton View Post
    Thank you to all who replied. When I submitted this thread I forgot to subscribe so I haven't been able to reply. I will address each one in the morning.

    Namaste jparkton,

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    Hari OM
    Only God Is Truth, Everything Else Is Illusion - Ramakrishna
    Total Surrender of Ego to SELF is Real Bhakti - Ramana Maharshi

    Silence is the study of the scruptures. Meditation is the continuous thinking of Brahman which is to be meditated upon. The complete negation of both by knowledge is the vision of truth – sadAcAra-14 of Adi SankarAcArya

    namah SivAya vishnurUpAya viShNave SivarUpiNe, MBh, vanaparva, 3.39.76

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