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Thread: Mingling between genders in Hinduism and South Asian culture.

  1. #1
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    Mingling between genders in Hinduism and South Asian culture.

    In my years as a Hindu, one question has often crossed my mind. Is mingling between men and women allowed in Hinduism and Indian culture.

    For example, can a man, talk to a woman outside his family or vice versa?

    I have always thought that it is okay so long as the both parties are being respectful, not talking inappropriately to the other etc, then it is fine.

    I remember a white Canadian man who used to come to the Sri Sathya Sai Baba Centre in my area and everytime he came, he was completely out of control. He would talk inappropriately with the ladies there, telling one of them that he was their husband and they were his wife in last birth etc. Until one day, the president and other people at the temple got angry with him and told him that he needs to stop or else, he has to leave the centre.

    A couple weeks later, I was talking on the phone with an older man and when he was talking to me, he mentioned about the above to me and advised me not to talk to ladies and that I would accumulate bad karmas if I do so. I protested and said, "No, I can talk to ladies, but, as long as I am respectful and talk appropriately with them" and he just kept on saying, "Don't talk to ladies. That will result in bad karmas" etc.

    What a load of rubbish! Why should I be forbidden to talk to ladies due to some out of control individual?! I was almost ready to shout at the man who was telling me not to talk to ladies, but instead, I made an excuse to dismiss myself from him. On the flip side, others have told me that men can talk to ladies and vice versa so long as they are being appropriate.

    Also I have heard stories from India of some western men getting into trouble for talking to Indian women, but nothing happens when a western woman talks to a Indian man, or if a western man wants to talk to an Indian lady, he has to due it within view of others, not privately. How true that is, I don't know as I have learned not to judge a country and its culture based on heresay. I am sure though that it depends on the area.

    But what I can say about the Indian community in my area is that they don't seem to mind me talking to the women. Being closely associated with Indian culture for so long, I associate with both Indian men and women and I never had any problems.

    What does Indian culture say about intermingling between men and women? Is is considered taboo?

  2. #2
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    Re: Mingling between genders in Hinduism and South Asian culture.

    In Indian culture, mingling of the genders is not very common at all. Men are friends with and speak with men, and women with women. As someone who grew up in a house with two parents actually born and raised in India (I'm born and raised in the US), family friends that were male would talk/be friends with my dad, and those that were female would talk/be friends with my mom. Generally when men and women speak to each other it's typically just small talk, and there is never physical contact between the genders. People will shake hands if in an environment that is among non-Indians, but if you are at someone's house or temple meeting someone knew, you would not shake hands with someone of the opposite gender.

    That being said (at least to my knowledge), there is not any religion-based taboos about this in Hinduism as there are in say, Islam. So the idea that you would be accumulating bad karma by speaking with women seems to me more like that particular guy or those guys trying to give a religious backing to a secular cultural practice. I (and all of my fellow American-born Indian-American Hindus that I've ever met) don't feel at all like we are doing anything immoral by talking to females or even dating.

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