Namaskarams to all dhanyaathmans!
This is my first thread here.
After my rebellious teen age, I have been always having 'praakrutha bhakthi' and 'daiva bhayam' with me [idol-worshipping once in a while/whenever I need something etc.]. I always believed that there is a creator of all what we know of and beyond. I used to pray to all forms and was never attached to a particular form.
Lately, I have become more and more interested in deeper aspects of spirituality and started to listen to lot of spiritual discourses (from internet). During last navarathri, my wife and I chanted Devi Mahatmyam and Lalita Sahasramamam everyday. This was when I started to get more exposure to "Devi Tatwam" and its vedantic meanings.
Vanadurga is our paradevata and we have a family temple for her. (In Kerala, we have this practice of having a paradevata - a family diety worshipped by all poorvikas as well as the present family members. It is said that paradevata will show his/her blessings and be always with you even if you don't pray).
I started chanting her moolamantra on the Vijayadasami day [Manasika japa - 108 - once or twice daily + whenever the mantra comes to me when I do other things]. I feel an urge to know more about her and do lot more for her worship. But I dont know what and how to do. I read that there is a "Vanadurga Mahavidya". I dont know if I will ever get the fortune of getting initiated into the same.
I dont know if I am matured/qualified spiritually to get more deep in it. I really DONT want my spiritual pursuit to be based on any wordly motives. When I think about it, I dont see any exterior motives; but I dont know if my sub-concious mind wants something. I dont know if I am doing this to satisfy my curiosity.
I get a lot of these questions. [I know only a guru can get rid off all these questions from me]
If anybody can share details about Devi in Vanadurga form and ways to worship her, that would greatly help me.
Thank You!
Vishnu
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