Namaste Devotee,
I think that what you don't realize is that what I said in my previous post is how I experience my world in terms of silence. It is all I see. It is not a theory in terms of what I see here. It is all I know. I even have to read the material, hear it in my head, translate it to mental feelings (I don't know how to describe the mental sensations that are not emotions), like the word "Jesus" or cross gives me several images, depending on the context of the conversation, India gives me the sight of the inside of a Mandir and the aromas of food, driving gives me a vague sense of physical memories of holding a steering wheel or even my feet controlling the pedals, West makes me think of the desert of Arizona, Polar makes me see darkness, snow blowing in a hard wind, and the northern portion of earth during the winter. After that third step, it comes to a sense of knowing. I think I'm just now beginning to understand why I get tired after reading, because all these things are happening because I have that extra layer of translation to myself.
Anyway, I am skeptical of the story of Vivekananda's encounter with the woman in the murti room. However, I did have the experience as a child of finding a downsized version of a young girl my age trapped in the ground under the house, whom I tried to dig out. I don't remember what happened after that. I don't recall seeing anything like that since.
I do have from time to time a vague sense of a presence of a person or an energy close by. I lived in one apartment in Houston for several years, and this was always bothersome. I would get frustrated at night, get up, and sit on the bed while asking just what it wanted, what could I help with. Of course, there was no response. I'd go back to bed, and there it was again. Sometimes, that didn't happen, just the one time for the night. I had to move to another apartment unit across the swimming pool because of water damage, and when I did, I never experienced that sense of someone in the bedroom again.
I live in a relatively new travel trailer with no known history of deaths or violence, since I am a second owner (very unlikely, given the good condition it is in), and I feel NOTHING of the sort in here. I don't know about your idea of logic or assumptions as far as how I see it, but it is ALL I have to go by on. There is MOST LIKELY no other person on earth like me presently, who lived this long in a native or ancient state and yet developed skills to be able to share it. You see, a child, whether in Indic or Western society, would NEVER be given willingly by the parent the opportunity to reach the age of physical self-sufficiency (being able to run, walk, climb, crawl, and interact with the outdoors safely) without the lenses of language, social norms, and religion being put on the child. Yet, that did happen to me accidentally. You HAVE to take this in consideration, because it puts me mentally in a very different place mentally than even that of my closest peers; deaf/hearing-impaired individuals who were found to be deaf within the first two-three years of their lives and helped. I did not get that help until I was seven and a half years old. Many, many of them fall right in with their hearing friends as far as normalcy goes. Something just DIFFERENT here.
It is why I have a sense of animism, similar to what has been reported in the "tribal belt" of India or other parts of the world, only it's a much lower level in my case because there are no words to describe the senses that I have. I was not initially taught the one-up/one-down view of humans towards non-humans until I went on a hunting trip. I do remember that it was very easy to be tricked into that because I believed emotionally that my parents couldn't do wrong (and wasn't even aware of such a thing). Nothing had to be said to me, just shown with my Dad lining up his gun and shooting the animal with it. It wasn't until the end of my college years that I began to experience the horrors of my actions towards my victims through reflecting onto those experiences as a hunter.
I just got through reading all of Rajivji's nearly-80 articles at his web site, and now, I'm ready to dig deeper into SD. I'm looking at the book, "VOICE OF THE GURU PUJYASRI CHANDRASEKHARENDRA SARASWATI SWAMI." If you have read this book, please share with me your experience with this book and what to watch for.
Dhanyavaad
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Originally Posted by deafAncient
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