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Thread: The Shame Capital.....

  1. #101
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    Re: The Shame Capital.....

    Namaste,
    Quote Originally Posted by McKitty View Post
    These mens should not be considered human beings anymore. There is no words to justify such brutality. ..... She may be alive, but trust me, after experiencing a rape a woman is not as alive as before. I(t) changes a woman so much, you live like a living dead after.
    Yes, rape has to be the worst crime committed against a woman and she can never be whole again.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jodhaa View Post
    As a woman, stories like this are definitely discouraging to say the least. India is one of those places I dream about visiting, but if things like this are becoming more common rather then less common will I have to put India on a list of "inhospitable" countries, off limits to travel - because I'm a woman? My only source of optimism is that these incidents are not more common, but are just more visible due to mass media exchange.
    As in many other countries, the govts. control the cities and the countryside, the villages and hamlets take care of themselves. In the past, because of higher moral standards, there was very little criminal activity in smaller places. But, it appears that things are changing - or rather, they already have changed. But that should not discourage anyone from going there. One just has to be careful not to be in situations which could be harmful. The reason for this thread is to raise people's awareness about the changing/existing societal norms, not to scare them. Cities and small towns are perfectly safe, as long as one is alert about their surroundings. There was a time when even the criminal element treated foreigners as 'off limits'. I guess that innocence has gone by the wayside, at least among the criminals. The general populace still considers foreigners as their honored guests. Arjuni/Eastern Mind/McKitty - any personal testimonials/experiences regarding that?

    Pranam.

  2. #102
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    Re: The Shame Capital.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Believer View Post
    The general populace still considers foreigners as their honored guests. Arjuni/Eastern Mind/McKitty - any personal testimonials/experiences regarding that?

    Pranam.
    Vannakkam Believer: I think it depends on attitude. I'm not naive. I wouldn't walk around certain districts of my city here any more than a city in India at 2AM, especially one with seedier sides. A place like Palani would be perfectly safe as the pilgrims are already preparing for the climb up the steps at that time of day.

    Westerners vary. There are the tourists ... somewhat ignorant and perhaps naive. Camping might be considered something regular people just do. I never saw any formal campsites anywhere in India. But backpackers in the Himalayas and elsewhere might just see it as their right to stop anywhere at all.

    I was a Hindu pilgrim in a western body, so indeed I got a lot of (undeserved) respect from the locals. I dressed like a Tamilian all the time. Moreso once I struck up a conversation, there was a lot of respect.

    I only felt unsafe once ... in Delhi on the stopover in a district called Karol Bagh I think. I didn't go out. But that was all my fault. I should have spent a few more bucks and booked a hotel right near the airport.

    Even though these events get a lot of publicity, its nothing compared to places in the States like Las Vegas where would-be rapists just scour the casinos and streets looking for the next young lady who got too drunk and separated from her friends, and needing 'help'.

    Anyone wishing to pursue the safety of India further, I would recommend the travel site IndiaMike. There are a ton of westerners there with far more experience than me or anyone else on these forums.

    Aum Namasivaya

  3. #103
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    Re: The Shame Capital.....

    I would be interested in hearing the perspectives of any women who have traveled to India, either alone or with a group/family/friends.

    Traveling abroad will always be different for a man than for a woman - that's unfortunately the way it is. There are places and times a man can walk that a woman just can't.

    Believer - Thank you for the reassurance. I will still visit India one day but events like this tend to shake one's faith a little. I tend to be a trusting person - I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. So far, the worst that's come of it is a bruised ego and hurt feelings but clearly there can be terrible consequences for not exercising a little more caution.
    "God will not have his work made manifest by cowards."
    ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


  4. #104
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    Re: The Shame Capital.....

    Vanakkam,

    I travelled a lot around the world despite my age, and I can say my trip to India was the better.
    I went to Tamil Nadu, the south, and not the north.

    Before leaving, people around me were all like: "yes I have been to India, Taj Mahal and stuff, great 5 stars hotels, guided tours, very beautiful country ! Fortunately we didn't saw much poors ! hohoho".

    After returning, I realized these people went to India with their body, but not with their hearts. They didn't knew or saw anything in India.

    I went to cities as well as remotes villages, eating with indian people, sleeping in hotels (not five stars ones). And I was with majority of girls and women of my family...I didn't had any lustful look or touched in any way, should it be in the street, in a village, in a temple.

    I remember when I was 14-15, I've had more lustful looks and problems in north african countries (Tunisia for example) were I was not secure alone and mens were very insisting despite my very young age.

    If you go to India and try to hide yourself in tourists five star hotels, you will not know India. And you will be targeted immediately as a rich tourist and getting more problem...To know India, to meet people, to pray with them, to eat with them to live with them...You don't have to pay a fee of a gang rape by 5 mens to know India.

    Dress correctly, behave correctly, know when to refuse. You should see how some indian women get the lustful stares and mens away sometimes ! This is something to see...And to mimic if you have problems ! Never go alone at night, never let some think you are wear tourist.

    Like everywhere there are people who'll try to fool you, but for five of them, you will find ten friends.

    You have to fight rikshaw drivers who try to fool you on the price, getting you elsewhere, or the false beggars that have many tricks to make you give them enormous amounts of money...While the true ones that need food lie silents on the streets.

    The first days in India, you want to run away. And after one week, you never want to leave this country.

    Be reasonable, be patient, respect their way to be, learn the language, expect nothing from others. You show respect and you'll see hearts open, and trust me, my aunt is at her 4th trip to India (solo or with other womens) and what was before a simple rikshawdriver, a priest in a remote temple and a fisherman family are now very, very dear friends. When she go back to India they go to their house, help with the kitchen, meet all the family, they laught, they go to the temple together, she help the childrens for school...Indian people are so kind and open, I have never saw this in any other part of the world.


    I will go to Mumbai in some months, alone. I try to plan every step of the trip, because I'll not be visiting but living there...So it'll be a very different experience. I am very afraid too when reading these kind of news...But I know how to dress and behave properly, and will certainly not engage in reckless things like camping or going to visit the slums (I find slum tourism very disgusting thing and not helping for the people) So I guess, what can happen bad ?

    India is not a horrible bad place full of rapists and murderers. It sure have downsides...For how much wonders ? It's worth the trip as long as you respect the culture and try not to put your own in their face.

    I've come across many people that couldn't respect that. "please don't put a short so short, it's disrespectful" "Don't say that, I'm a free woman I dress the way I want !" or even "What, he don't know how to read and he doesn't speak english ! What a moron !" Uh yeah, Maybe you should have learned his language a little instead of expecting him to speak yours ?
    These kind of people expect people to adapt to their culture and their way to be, they are not curious or respectful of Indian culture, thus they are quick to bring problems to them.

    That does not mean you have to say amen to everyone and let people step on you. Respect, and you will bring respect. For what I've seen and experienced, it's a natural process.

    But please, for every westerner that read these articles: don't take any false idea or generalize entire India and entire Indian people from these events. I have been to the US, Egypt, Tunisia, Spain, Croatia, Canada, and many others...An this is in India that I've seen the most beautiful smiles, the most welcoming arms.






    Aum Namah SHivaya
    Last edited by McKitty; 18 March 2013 at 03:50 PM.
    ~Aum Namah Shivaya~

  5. #105
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    Re: The Shame Capital.....

    That's a wonderful reply, McKitty. Very touching and uplifting words to come from a young woman barely out of her teens.
    jai hanuman gyan gun sagar jai kapis tihu lok ujagar

  6. #106

    Re: The Shame Capital.....

    Agree that is a beautiful reply. I'm an NRI female and traveled alone several years back. Went all over, north and south. McKitty nailed it, there's not much more I can add.

    ~S

  7. #107
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    Re: The Shame Capital.....

    McKitty,

    Is that girl with the long Pink skirt and with folded arms in your picture above, you?
    jai hanuman gyan gun sagar jai kapis tihu lok ujagar

  8. #108
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    One year later....


  9. #109
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    Re: The Shame Capital.....

    Namaste Believer ji,

    It is indeed very hard to read through the new-found govt-funded financial stability for the family, because it all comes at the wake of their daughter's loss. I can relate to this pain because I have heard it all first hand from one of my closest friends who is a divorcee and has lost her 2nd son as a little child to Cancer. Broken down, she was heavily funded by well-wishing families all around the town she lives (in US) which had earned her a bunch of friends. Though Hindu, she buried her son, and often recalls how one of these friends is met by her at the grave praying to her son when she reaches there... She says, "My son has left me but made sure he will be remembered always by me via the kindness and charitability of these ever-lasting friends..".
    jai hanuman gyan gun sagar jai kapis tihu lok ujagar

  10. #110
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    Re: The Shame Capital.....

    Namaste,

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-29975114

    And this is what is happening in the most advanced, most open, most affluent society in the world,

    http://www.cnn.com/2014/11/10/opinio...html?hpt=hp_t3

    Pranam.
    Last edited by Believer; 11 November 2014 at 09:42 AM.

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