Being in The Present: Absentmindedness, Forgetfulness...

[FollowerJunior]

Namaskar,

I am a forgetful and absent-minded person. I still go to school, so I will almost always forget a book(s!), PE kit, forget that I was meant to ask the teacher about something or hand in a library book, etc. People who are close to me often say that 'I look like I'm daydreaming/not in the present'. I will leave dishes in the sink, walk away for some reason, then forget I left them there to wash. These are trivial but frustrating, unconscious patterns that keep repeating themselves. However, I deeply adore reading the Vedas, works/discourses of Swami Chinmayananda + Swami Vivekananda - I would like to know if there is a spiritual way to solve my problem.

Dhanavad,
FollowerJunior

[Eastern Mind]

Vannakkan FJ: I agree with the people who say that. Your mind is elsewhere so you're not aware of what you're doing. I do think practice will help some with this. If you can focus on a single task for as long as 5 minutes, and do it to it's completion, after some time it will be easier. Of course the less interesting it is, the more likely the mind will wander. The most interesting thing close by is like a magnet for the mind.

Best wishes with it.

Aum Namasivaya

[surrenderindailylife]

Hari Om


Namaste FJ

A few suggestions for your consideration:

Namaskar,
I am a forgetful and absent-minded person. I still go to school, so I will almost always forget a book(s!), PE kit, forget that I was meant to ask the teacher about something or hand in a library book, etc. People who are close to me often say that 'I look like I'm daydreaming/not in the present'. I will leave dishes in the sink, walk away for some reason, then forget I left them there to wash.

1. Spare 5 min every morning, for nama-japa. Gradually increase this based on your comfort. This will teach mind discipline to be in 'NOW'

2. Spare 10 min every morning, to list down your 'To Do' lists every day. Jot this down on a paper and carry this paper in your pocket throughout the day, taking care to peep into this at regular intervals. This will ensure that you are on track on your action items for the day.


Om Namah Shivay

[devotee]

Namaste FJ,

Please listen to me carefully.

1. Being forgetful is quite common in children. You are only 14, so it is not as serious as you have assumed.

2. If your parents / teachers are branding you as such, don't pay any heed to them. They just don't know what damage they are doing to a child's psyche.

3. I will point out something from your post :

I am a forgetful and absent-minded person.

This is called branding a person. This is a very damaging statement. Just throw this thought out of your mind for good. You become what you believe in. Instead, from today : Say to yourself : "I am fully aware of everything whatever is going around me. I don't forget anything which is important." Repeat these words in your mind and believe in it ... why ? Because it is true. You forget something only because your mind remembers only those things which are "considered" important by your mind. If your mind thinks that something is not important, it would not be stored in memory. It is like seeing colours of dresses that people were wearing in a party and if someone comes and asks you just after an hour from the party, "Do you remember who was wearing what ?" ... you or anyone in this forum won't be able to answer correctly even for 10 % of people gathered there in the party.

Mind is very careful when it comes to storing things in memory as too much of storage can be too taxing and worrisome for you.

I still go to school, so I will almost always forget a book(s!), PE kit, forget that I was meant to ask the teacher about something or hand in a library book, etc.

There is a very simple technique not to forget such things :

a) Keep your cool. Never ever doubt yourself. This happens only because you are unnecessarily too much agitated in mind ... i.e. your mind is not calm. Try to do things not in hurry but with slowed down pace. Keep your thinking process slow.

b) Make a list of things before you start for your school. You can have a mental list or if required, you can write it down on a sheet of paper. Make sure that you don't go to school before making it sure from the list that you have taken everything with you. Don't think that it is ridiculous to do so ... this actually is the right way to remember things correctly. It is actually foolishness to depend too much upon memory.

c) I had suffered from such forgetfulness in my younger days. Once I left my keys at home when started for a journey of nearly 1000 km. I cam to know about it only after reaching the destination ! Again, on another day, I took all my friends for a dinner. I had taken out necessary money from my box also but left it there on the box before leaving my room. The result was that my friends had to pay for my dinner instead of I paying for them. There are many instances ... I can't recount all of them here. Just be sure that such things are quite common. You have to find out a way out instead of cursing yourself and branding yourself.

People who are close to me often say that 'I look like I'm daydreaming/not in the present'.

This is not uncommon in younger days. Keep a watch on your thoughts. Unnecessary thinking doesn't do any good. So, relax and try to be in present. This will certainly improve with practice and belief in yourself.

I will leave dishes in the sink, walk away for some reason, then forget I left them there to wash.

Simple way out : Make a mental list and revisit that list before you walk away from sink. Do it every time. This will become a habit.

These are trivial but frustrating, unconscious patterns that keep repeating themselves.

Frustration, anger, cursing oneself will only aggravate the problem. Instead believe in yourself ... if it happens again ... don't give too much importance to the lapse. Reward yourself with encouraging thoughts whenever you don't forget and are able to break the pattern of forgetfulness in a particular situation. Deal every situation of forgetfulness differently ... you need different lists to visit in that certain event.

I would like to know if there is a spiritual way to solve my problem.

Yes. Having unfailing faith in yourself is the first step towards spirituality and you must do it. Second thing is : There is nothing more powerful than our mind in this world. This is the biggest Truth of the universe. Keep your mind cool and believe that your mind is capable of doing whatever you want. The more you have faith in your mind ... the easier is the path to success.

*******************
Never curse yourself or brand yourself even you fail hundred times ... the successes are important and not the failures. The failures are repeating only because you have started believing in your weaknesses too strongly ... it will take time to have faith in your strengths ... but it has to happen. You are second to none. Believe me. I don't lie.

OM

[FollowerJunior]

Namaste,

Thank you very much for your advice Eastern Mind, surrenderindailylife, and devotee. I will definitely keep these in mind the next time I am in this kind of situation.
To devotee: the events that you recounted from your life are so similar to mine! Sorry, I don't mean to bother everyone here by moaning about my problems - but the advice you have all given me are very constructive + positive ways to change myself for the better. Thank you so much, again.

Dhanavad,
FollowerJunior

[surrenderindailylife]

Namaste FJ

Hari Om

Namaste,
Sorry, I don't mean to bother everyone here by moaning about my problems - but the advice you have all given me are very constructive + positive ways to change myself for the better.

One more point that I missed out sharing earlier , especially since you seem to be a sincere sadhak on self-improvement road.. Every morning (before world around you wakes up) spend some time (15-20 min) in visualizing what you would like to be. Thus if you want to see yourself as a person who remembers everything (right from all major topics to minor topics) visualize yourself that you already are a person who is having a tremendous memory potential and that you already are remembering. Visualize how your great memory is already helping yourself and other around you to make you & their life better. Most important thing, this visualize is to be practiced as if you already are having a great memory and NOT that you will be having in future. Experience the feeling and thank GOD before closing off this experience. Keep practising. There is a lot of reading material on this in public domain.

All the Best!

Om Namah Shivay