Second cousin marriage in hinduism. please help?

[anshus]

namastey HDF,
I am new here on this forum and heartily glad to see this forum on hinduism. I have to ask a question (solution) here. I am in love with a girl . And want to marry her. But she is my mother's mother's brother's daughter's daughter (my nani's brother's daughter's daughter). My family is against our relation. and her parents are looking groom for her.
I want to ask here is our relation wrong? They are calling us muslims, but in many hindus this relation is quite common. In south indians, maharashtriyans, bushhist and many more not in my knowledge. They all are hindus. I think we are not siblings and our relation is not wrong in any way. Even Arjun married Subhadra, who was his first cousin in presence of Lord Krishna and their son The veer Abhimanyu also married his cousin. Gautam budhha married his first cousin. And Lord krishna also.
Why is it wrong in "some hindus" while quite common in "others". Hindu marriage act also permit us. You all members of this forum know the dharma and specially hindu dharma best of all. please answer me. And if you are agree to me please support us by providing me information if this kind of relation is mention in our shastras under non-prohibited marry.
Thankyou.

[saswathy]

Dear friend,
Marrying a cousin is not encouraged usually for health reasons . Where there are some serious health issues ,autoimmune diseases, there is a great chance of the offspring to inherit them from both sides, since both the parents are closely related . If we see closely we can deduce that most of the things are related to religion and dharma because when an issue is connected to religion people follow that without any question .In fact most of vasthu rules are also connected to convenience ,health and ethnic beauty. For example in the olden days before the advent of electricity most of the chores which needed light like cooking made it mandatory to have the kitchen in the southeast corner , puja room in the northeast corner . In the west and south , the rooms which require privacy were placed .Any guest was entertained in the veranda in the east because it was just in the entrance of the house .If vasthu is related to cosmic energy , how come houses of people belonging to other religions are not facing adverse consequences even when they are constructed against the usual norms . Similarly in many walks of life we find many rules
which are connected to religion just make the people to follow them with out any doubt . It does not mean that all rules fall in to
this argument . I specifically said some .Now marrying a first or second cousin is not a taboo according to Hindu religion. But from the health point of view of children it is discouraged.

[Eastern Mind]

Vannakkam: Genetic studies like this one ... http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=overview have largely dispelled the myth that bad things happen in cousin marriage. Yes, the risk is slightly higher, but decreases the further you get away, and in your case it's second cousin, not first. The risk also increases when the behaviour is repeated in a particular community over a long period of time, like over many generations. This happened in certain caste based smaller groups or small pockets of people, like on islands like Pitcairn.

For some reason, some elements in the west have attached a stigma to it, and the myth has grown over time, with little or no scientific evidence to go back it up.

So knowing this, I'd say just go ahead and marry the girl of your dreams. I personally know several first cousin marriages in the Hindu community, and I'm not aware of any genetic factors being present, but observational anecdotes aren't true science.

You can do your own research on line as well.

Aum Namasivaya

[devotee]

Namaste Anshus,

she is my mother's mother's brother's daughter's daughter (my nani's brother's daughter's daughter).

This is a distant relationship. The rule of Hindu marriages are not same throughout India. It varies from place to place. In South of India, marrying one's sister's daughter is not-so uncommon but it is unthinkable in North India. It matters from which area you belong to.

Please read this http://yogeshnaiks-blawg.blogspot.in...onship-as.html

So, imo, this marriage is possible.
OM

[anshus]

dear saswathy I have read everything and anything related to birth defects and I know in our case it is 2-3%, which is normal. means in non-related people there nis 2-3% risk. also my brother and her sister are husband wife and they have a very cute and healthy baby. so there is nothing about birth defect. only social drama. As told by eastern mind.

[anshus]

Thanks to all for your reply. And dear swasthy, as told by eastern mind, there is a little probability of birth defect in our case (2-3%,which is normal). Also my bother and her sister is husband wife (They eloped), and hve a very cute and healthy baby. There is nothing related to birth defect but only social and family drama.

[anshus]

Vannakkam: Genetic studies like this one ... http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=overview have largely dispelled the myth that bad things happen in cousin marriage. Yes, the risk is slightly higher, but decreases the further you get away, and in your case it's second cousin, not first. The risk also increases when the behaviour is repeated in a particular community over a long period of time, like over many generations. This happened in certain caste based smaller groups or small pockets of people, like on islands like Pitcairn.

For some reason, some elements in the west have attached a stigma to it, and the myth has grown over time, with little or no scientific evidence to go back it up.

So knowing this, I'd say just go ahead and marry the girl of your dreams. I personally know several first cousin marriages in the Hindu community, and I'm not aware of any genetic factors being present, but observational anecdotes aren't true science.

You can do your own research on line as well.

Aum Namasivaya

Dear eastern mind thanks for reply, and yes I know we are not wrong. But her parents are not permitting us, we will die without each other. I need her alot and so does she. Only she was by my side in my very bad times, no friends, no relative no body was with me only she. I cant leave her. I cant even imagine my life without her. But parents are not understanding our feelings. South Indians are also Hindu and so we are. Are they not human or are not we? Only there outlook toward the religion will kill us. Is there any way to persuade them?

[saswathy]

Dear friend , when health reasons are ruled out , when your brother is already married to her sister , what is getting in the way for your marriage . Go ahead and marry her .

[anshus]

Dear friend , when health reasons are ruled out , when your brother is already married to her sister , what is getting in the way for your marriage . Go ahead and marry her .

her and my parents sir. they are telling us that we are brother and sister. I dont think so. How can I make them understand that we are not.

[anshus]

I dont want to elope like my brother and bhabi.