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Thread: What am I?

  1. #11

    Re: What am I?

    Namaste deafAncient,

    Thank you for sharing. This looks like a valuable resource!

    Pranam

    Quote Originally Posted by deafAncient View Post
    Namaste Pranam,

    Rajiv Malhotra has a web site, rajivmalhotra.com/article-comparative-religion/ - read EVERY ONE of these articles on comparative religion to understand where Anglo peoples came from, and how the Indic world in general differs from the European world. If you go to this page, http://rajivmalhotra.com/library/ - you'll find that you can access ALL of his articles or blogs plus information about his books that you can buy online, either in print or electronic form.

    You MUST read these works in order to have a proper understanding of the context of SD in today's world of religions/ways of life. Please read these, and then go out and help three people. It doesn't have to be tomorrow, next week, or even ten years from now, but please help three people before you leave your present body.
    Om Namah Shivaya

  2. #12

    Re: What am I?

    Namaste Fem-Phoenix and Viraja,

    Indeed it is! I have completed reading all of these articles, and I'm just beginning to get into the basic texts, like some of the Upanishads, looking at different translations of the Ramayana to try to eliminate the colonized interpretations of it, and Sāṁkhyakārikā. I feel that the last one is a bit hard for me to handle, so I have to leave that for now or find another writing of it. It is quite academic to me.

    I just read the Katha Upaniṣad, and I realize that I understand it... Viraja! Are you referring to Nachiketā as the seeker??? I believe that I am that seeker at this time, already having heard those words in my own way, on my own some years ago.

    I have had surgery twice in my life, and each time (first time was about 9 or 10 years ago), I reminded myself that I was not my body and withdrew myself from the affected part of my body prior to the surgery.

  3. #13

    Re: What am I?

    Namaste again,

    One other thing:

    "No eye can see Him, nor has He a face that can be seen, yet through meditation and through discipline He can be found in the heart. He that finds Him enters immortal life.
    "When mind and sense are at rest, when the discrimination of intellect is finished, man comes to his final condition."

    This must be the state I was in as a child during the Deaf Years, when I hadn't yet acquired the ability to communicate and my memories had already been forming permanently for a few years.

  4. #14

    Re: What am I?

    During the time of my eye surgery this week, I showed my friend this particular thread to help her understand my position better, and I was just very surprised to hear that most people have trouble shutting off that internal voice constantly running in their mind. It is said that it's very difficult to turn it off unless one meditates, and even then, it's not easy...

    (jokingly or not?) I think I read a lot in order to hear that voice in my head, because most of the time, when I'm not reading, but looking at things, I have large spans of time where I'm not hearing that voice, but being in the moment, seeing colors, textures, and shapes, and I feel these things within, like the difference between a smooth, glassy surface, and a rough pattern of texture cut into wood, a sphere versus a pole.

    Certainly, my experience is not normal in today's civilization.

  5. #15
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    Re: What am I?

    Nakaskar deafAncient,

    This is the first chance I've had to read this thread, as I've not really been on the Forum much in the last 7 or 8 months and I somehow missed this on the times I was online. Thank you so much for the great reading recommendations - I've already followed a couple of links, one from another thread, and it's invaluable. I will read more.

    Quote Originally Posted by deafAncient View Post
    ...I was just very surprised to hear that most people have trouble shutting off that internal voice constantly running in their mind. It is said that it's very difficult to turn it off unless one meditates, and even then, it's not easy...
    This is very true! I've had far less trouble with it because I've almost always been able to silence it. I have an uncommon visual field and I can hear and focus on a steady tone when I relax and breathe. This last is a form of meditation I've practiced since I was really small, I don't really remember when it started. When I focus on the tone, there is no running dialogue in my head. I learned to do this and continue about daily life without really being wholly present in it. I practiced that for a very long time and have picked the practice back up in the last year and a half. It's slow progress, I'm not as good at it anymore, but I'm getting there.

    There was a period of time that I let myself get sucked into this crazy culture. I think it had to happen... The person I became is someone I don't quite recognize and someone who had very little happiness. The internal dialogue and arguments and diatribes were constant. Not having experienced it to this extreme for most of my life, I thought it was just me. I learned only a couple of years ago that it's actually very common and a lot of people really struggle with it, especially when they're very negative, stressed or angry.
    ...I have large spans of time where I'm not hearing that voice, but being in the moment, seeing colors, textures, and shapes, and I feel these things within, like the difference between a smooth, glassy surface, and a rough pattern of texture cut into wood, a sphere versus a pole.
    Yes, this. When I focus on the tone, if I keep my eyes open you would not believe what I can see. Or maybe you're one of the few who would. I've recently had this explained to me medically, but to me that's secondary. Genetics is basically Prakriti's way of making sure our physical form has the needed qualities for this birth, in my estimation. Anyway, I've had doctors tell me all kinds of things over the years that turned out either not true or they were wrong about the actual science at the time. Like the tone that they said was tinnitus, then they couldn't measure it so they said it was frontal temporal seizures - but it wasn't. So then I was hallucinating and needed medication. Lovely, and also not true. Don't get me wrong, my work is in medical sciences, but sometimes western culture just won't let people see the forest for the trees.

    Anyway, yes, your experience is not common, even among those who have similar experiences. I'm so glad to read about it though, and from such a unique perspective. I look forward to where it takes you.

    ~Pranam
    ~~~~~
    What has Learning profited a man, if it has not led him to worship the good feet of Him who is pure knowledge itself?
    They alone dispel the mind's distress, who take refuge at the feet of the incomparable one.
    ~~Tirukural 2, 7

    Anbe Sivamayam, Satyame Parasivam

  6. #16

    Re: What am I?

    Namaste to all,

    I'm currently in the Dallas area as I mentioned in another thread. Because of the nature of my working schedule, I have gone to the Hare Kṛṣṇa Temple in central Dallas, and I went today. I was able to sit down with the ācārya to talk over SD, some verses, and got to share with him this thread, something I'm not able to do with the DFW Hindu Temple at this time because of schedule conflicts. They have a restaurant inside the temple that serves good food. Vegan, too! I have felt a need to find someone to talk to, someone who has a commonality with me on such a basic level. It was great!

    I'll be in the area until near the end of May, and then go to Cleveland, TX (north of Houston, TX). There, I'll be able to go to the Hindu Temple of The Woodlands, north of Houston. Meanwhile, I have finished several books looking at SD and colonial history. I'm deep in the middle of the Mandala of Indic Studies here - http://www.infinityfoundation.com/ma...a_frameset.htm Just the Outer and the Inner Mandalas runs close to 1000 pages, if not more (the Outer Mandala is over 500 pages). I haven't even touched the History and Present Mandalas. Another book I am reading on my phone is "Brahman: The Many Forms of the One Formless," from krishna.com. This is like the basic introduction to SD for me. This is a book I will be reading very closely for some time.

    I've come to the realization that as more time passes by, the more quickly the exit point from Western living approaches me. I have the feeling that I will end up donating my life to SD a lot sooner than I thought, even though I'm not ready, literature-wise. I wonder how to go about doing this, so this is a possibility to discuss with relevant staff down there to prepare myself in case I'm not successful in finding work as a seamstress.

    Praṇāma

  7. #17
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    Re: What am I?

    Namaste,

    Quote Originally Posted by deafAncient View Post
    I have the feeling that I will end up donating my life to SD.......
    Not sure what this means. People normally embrace SD to uplift their spiritual level. So, adopting SD is purely a selfish act for the betterment of one's soul. How does the act of donation come into the picture? Donation, as I understand is giving something for someone else's benefit. Spending the rest of the life with SD would be a personal choice for improving your life rather than giving up your life to help others in some way. Believer is not too smart and gets confused easily.

    Pranam.
    Last edited by Believer; 24 April 2015 at 07:51 AM.

  8. #18

    Re: What am I?

    Namaste, Believer. That is what I mean. For a lack of a better word for dānam to society, I mean to donate my life to SD in some capacity as a helper. Maybe educate people in some way? It would be a long time before I can do this, but I can start somewhere. I want to both strengthen my SD embrace and help others from that perspective, in seva. I want to help change the world, if one person at a time, not through proselytization, but through living as an example.

  9. #19
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    Re: What am I?

    Namaste,

    Quote Originally Posted by deafAncient View Post
    I mean to donate my life to SD in some capacity.......Maybe educate people in some way?
    I want to help change the world, if one person at a time, not through proselytization, but through living as an example.
    I don't worry too much about educating others. They will listen only if I can live what I preach. If I can live the SD life I will not have to look for people to preach to; they will seek me out. It is the aura that one wears which attracts people into one's sphere of influence.

    Coming back to your original post in this thread; have you made any progress in accepting the deities and the associated rituals? If not then you have a long way to go in fully accepting it and practicing it before others will seek you out. Best wishes.

    Pranam.

  10. #20

    Re: What am I?

    Namaste Believer.

    It seems to be that by far, most people are focused on Bhakti yoga to the exclusion of the other Yogas, as far as I can see within the context of the temple (because that's what it's for), and I don't know that they do or do not look at or practice the other Yogas, or paths to follow.

    What would be wrong with staying on the path of Jñana or Karma yogas? My problem is getting beyond the state of sensing Nirguṇa Brahman (and Antaryāmin as the witness, controller, and unifying thread within the creation) with its īśvara functions and vibhūtis to that of Saguṇa Brahman with the Avatāras and Mūrtis. Edit: I just realized that Antaryāmin and Vibhūti IS part of Saguṇa Brahman.

    I am not sure that in terms of seva, that I was thinking of being a guru or a teacher of the entire span of Brahman, but rather, practical knowledge on how one can live. It's like, I can't go up to a person and say, "Oh, so you are Christian. How about take a look at this book on the basics of Hinduism and become Hindu?" I have to slowly question and expand ideas on what it means to be a better human, such as not merely tolerating someone else's lifestyle or personality, but also accepting that someone without necessarily assuming that because you accept that they are on that path doesn't mean that you accept that path for yourself at all. Maybe what I am looking at is more of Karma yoga in terms of concrete action to make this a better world.

    So you see the problem here. In regards to what to do with my life, I feel like I'm in a formless state, and I don't know what to do to bring form to my views about how the world could be better and carry it out.

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