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20 September 2010, 11:43 PM
Sorry for posting so much on this board, But I have a pressing question that I would like to have answered as quickly as possible.
So I am on day 10 of my sadhana. At first I developed a great sense of inner peace, but now I'm starting to develop a very short fuse in combination with developing ease of frustration over mundane activities. I am wondering, is this a normal occurrence? My best guess is that it is all the spiritual gunk (to put it crudely) coming to the surface and being cleansed, but is manifesting itself as extreme irritation and anger. Does anyone have any more knowledge on this subject? I am really feeling angry, annoyed and on the verge of tears from such a state. Elucidation would be greatly appreciated.
21 September 2010, 01:43 AM
Are you getting attached to or expecting a certain condition out of this sadhana ?
These might cause the frustrations (at the mind level).
Need is to keep the intellect right up at the very top with right knowledge to monitor and calm down the mind.
Or otherwise the intense bhakti to keep the right focus of the mind irrespective of the effects.
Love and best wishes
21 September 2010, 07:05 AM
Vannakkam Eric: There could be many reasons. My guess (it IS only a guess) is that your sadhana was performed well enough to accelerate your karma. This is one of the reasons we do sadhana of course, as we do want to get out of here (moksha). But we can also overdo it, and get the karma to come back too fast, so much it is overwhelming. So my Guru's Guru's saying is "No hurry, No worry." We have to discover the pace of sadhana that best suits ourselves. Some people can handle the intensity, while others can't so much. Some people can meditate for 2 hours, others for 5 minutes. Both approached are fine, as its always personal.
I think kallol's message was astute.
So I would just advise you to slow it down. I'm an old man, and I also slowed it down. Now my daily (9 days out of 10) sadhana is about 15 to 20 minutes. Fortunately for all of us, we have reincarnation, so really there is no hurry. Even if over this entire lifetime, if our beneficial actions outweigh the negative, then we are gaining.
Many Gurus would advise not to even attempt to do sadhana while angry. Better off to go for a nice soothing nature walk, or do some physical karma yoga if you have the chance. Best wishes.
BTW, you are not at all alone with this dilemma.
21 September 2010, 07:31 AM
EM has given good advice about setting up one's one pace of sAdhana, since a jIva's life is a long chain of reincarnation before it attains liberation. Efforts at dhAyana-sAdhana--meditational practice, should be preceded by practice of yama--restraints, and niyama--regulations. Since you are very young, there is no need to hurry or worry as EM said.
Below are some sources that you may find helpful:
'Conquest of anger' by svAmi SivAnanda
'May I answer that?' by svAmi SivAnanda
'Meditation and its Utility in Daily Life With Practical Hints'
by svAmi PremAnanda
plus a number of useful texts at:
21 September 2010, 07:32 AM
It's possible that you are not ready for the specific type of sadhana you are doing. Maybe you are not physically prepared yet, waking up early in the morning and sitting for puja and singing mantras for example takes some physical fitness. Sadhana also takes emotional preparedness, is your sadhana congruent with your deep inner beliefs and values. Intellectually, you also need to understand what you are doing and why. Can you be more specific about what sadhana you are doing, how much you are doing and which rules you are observing?
Contemplate on the meaning of this verse from the Shiva Manasa Puja Stotra written by Shankaracharya:
आत्मा त्वं गिरिजा मतिः सहचराः प्राणाः शरीरं गृहं
पूजा ते विषयोपभोगरचना निद्रा समाधिस्थितिः .
सञ्चारः पदयोः प्रदक्षिणविधिः स्तोत्राणि सर्वा गिरो
यद्यत्कर्म करोमि तत्तदखिलं शम्भो तवाराधनम्
ātmā tvaṃ girijā matiḥ sahacarāḥ prāṇāḥ śarīraṃ gṛhaṃ
pūjā te viṣayopabhogaracanā nidrā samādhisthitiḥ .
sancāraḥ padayoḥ pradakṣiṇavidhiḥ stotrāṇi sarvā giro
yadyatkarma karomi tattadakhilaṃ śambho tavārādhanam
You are my Self; paarvatii is my reason. My five praaNaas are
Your attendants, my body is Your house, and all the pleasures of
my senses are objects to use for Your worship. My sleep is
Your state of samaadhii. Wherever I walk I am walking around You,
everything I say is in praise of You, everything I do is in devotion to You,
O benevolent Lord!
verse number 4, starting at 3:40
21 September 2010, 07:59 AM
I'm not sure if consciously I'm expecting something, but there is a good chance that my subconscious could have a part in it (with expectation), I think it is not only expectation however. I just realized that a large part of this is due to my ego still being very present within me. After I posted that I did calm down a little.
To eastern mind,
That seems logical actually, the acceleration, I will explain why in my answer to Sahasranama. I should probably slow it down, My sadhana over the last few days have been very intensive and I could stand to slow down a little
I am using the Sadhana as a way of bringing about the yamas and niyamas, I posted on another thread on here that I was considering brahmacharya, but I realized this is not a viable option at this stage of my life because of the fact that I am a normal teenage boy and desire reigns over me. I am trying to observe the yamas and niyamas (I have successfully stayed a vegetarian and believe in non-violence in general) And thank you for the links, I think they will explain a good deal.
And finally to Sahasranama
In regards to the type of sadhana, I believe it would be called Vyasti and/or Niskam, I am bringing about this through the practice of Japa, I meditate regularly, it varies from day to day how much I can get in, and it generally lasts about 20-30 minutes per session. In any event, I am using a mala to stay focused and chant to saraswati to clear my mind and bring about scholastic and spiritual realization. I don't know what its called but I am doing the thing where you use the mala for 40 days using one specific mantra to bring about change in your life. But aside from this I am studying the vedas, upanishads and Mahabharata (I will get to the ramayana eventually). I think the reason however that I am going so fast, is that I read somewhere that 500,000 chants to saraswati will bring about enlightenment, I have closely been keeping track of the number of times I chant a day, the cumulative number of chants I have done total and the number of chants I have until I reach 500,000, I will not disclose how many times I have chanted, But I will say I have been moving very fast and thus bringing it back to easter mind, my karma is probably accelerating very, very fast. So it is one part vanity (spiritually and intellectually) and one part genuine desire to attain moksha and lose all desire (which is ironic considering I desire to lose all desire) good passage by the way.
21 September 2010, 10:17 AM
I read somewhere that 500,000 chants to saraswati will bring about enlightenment,
It is possible, but you need to be prepared on many levels before starting such a sadhana. You would also need to observe strict rules until you have completed the sadhana. If you are not prepared for something like this, not planning to follow strict rules and don't have the proper guidence from a guru, it's better to forget the number 500,000, it's not a magic number. Do as much japa as you can handle, not too much. It's not just about the quantity, but also about the quality of the japa. You can go round and round with your mala, but the important thing is where your mind is directed.
21 September 2010, 10:33 AM
Sorry for posting so much on this board, But I have a pressing question that I would like to have answered as quickly as possible.
So I am on day 10 of my sadhana. At first I developed a great sense of inner peace, but now I'm starting to develop a very short fuse in combination with developing ease of frustration over mundane activities. I am wondering, is this a normal occurrence?
Perhaps this information will help you ...please consider the following:
If you are going from one practice/technique to another ( a practice is called upāya some call yukti ) this can cause some roughness.
Consider choosing the technique that is giving you your results and stay with that technique for some time. My teacher would say, we only dig one well at a time.
If during your practice you enter into activity too quickly, this will also cause some roughness, some stress in one's mind. What do I mean? Say you are meditating and you finish. You just get up and begin your normal daily activities without any transition time. It is wise to have a period of silence between your meditation and your activity. Sitting quietly with eyes closed yet not meditating, just being in that silence that was created. If thoughts come, fine. Yet just take a few minutes before becoming fully engaged in your activities.
Try these approaches for a few days... if the stress comes out, this is good as you are releasing some of those 'knots' within the body and or the mind. The mind and body are connected , yes? What occurs in the body is reflected in the mind, and vice versa.
Let us know how it goes - and just be easy about it. One's sādhana is not like a football game where there is extreme effort to pursue. It is about balance and intent. I am not suggesting your actions are football game oriented. It is offered to suggest that balance and ease and smoothness goes far in one's practice. This does not suggest a passiveness, but a balanced approach.
21 September 2010, 04:54 PM
Thanks for the responses. I meditated immediately after I posted this, and this time I focused my being on saraswati, the universe and god. I calmed down about halfway through the first rotation of my mala. I also slowed down significantly. I find when I am speedy, it has significantly less effect, but leaves me far more energized. When I slow down to a more contemplative speed, I become very relaxed and spiritual realizations hit me. I realize more and more with each passing day. This is a very effective mantra, I try to have as much conviction and belief when I do my meditation, and in a relatively short time, my life has changed greatly, such as (sorry for the egotistic nature of this): self awareness, inner peace, spiritual awareness, and some humility (but like argon in the atmosphere, only in trace amounts).
I also recently attended a lecture on learning to be happy, and I realize that while anger is controllable, it is also inevitable when searching for happiness in the external, which was what I was doing, after I contemplated on that, and meditated it calmed me down, reassured me, and re invigorated me to continue my sadhana.
22 September 2010, 04:11 AM
It's a good thing to slow down, so that you can become aware of what it is you are doing, instead of just going through the motion of mantra japa. But in the beginning any new activity will take more effort than you are used to. It's natural that you are feeling a little bit uncomfortable. As you make more progress, you should get more energy from your sadhana than you are expending. This will also transfer to your daily life, which you refered to as mundane activities. These activities can be seen as a sacrfice to Shiva, Vishnu, Devi etc. You may need less sleep, but don't force these things, they will come naturally.
13 October 2010, 10:59 AM
Eric, your post has reminded me of similar experiences I have gone through recently. I had been away from HDF for a while (and in a way, consequently separated from the greater Hindu community) and now that I am back and have taken Sanatana Dharma seriously again, I've had to start from scratch, so to speak.
I, too, perform regular daily japa with my usual mantra and will chant it mentally whenever I am going on with daily tasks, etc, yet I have found my temper can be quickly lost and that I have slipped back into my old ways of judging before I understand a situation properly and generally lacking commitment or focus to the task at hand. "Spiritual gunk" is a great way of putting it, and yes, I think that's most likely what it is. And I've a lot to get rid of. :)
The other members of the board offer you very sound advice. It's almost as if you'll need to develop a fatalistic patience and stubbornness in order to push on ahead and cultivate that equanimity of mind and temper. EM is right about feeling angry; if you feel your temper flaring, there's no point in forcing yourself into calmness, but a quick walk with the mantra in mind can really unwind you.
19 October 2010, 05:38 AM
ask this question to your spirtiual teacher or a Guru other then asking here and there...its gud u doing sadhana but urs sadhana will wont rise without a true Guru.
feeling angry,rise in temper, annoyed etc while doing sadhana Strange ,what type of sadhana u doing !...when u do (chanting of name)nam jap/bhakti/sadhana urs anger will automatically start getting ctrl
22 October 2010, 06:57 AM
You have been bestowed with grace, I am sure. The little change that you noticed shows you have gained momentum, thanks to chanting these mantras.
Let me concisely share my limited thoughts on this boundless topic .
Mantras are transformed pulsations of ‘Kundalini Power’ which have been awakened through constant and studious efforts. So, when we chant them, the kundalini power/ nada at mooladhara, with the pressure of Udana Vayu, move upwards through sushumna as para, pashyanti, madhyama to manifest as vaikhari/speech (or the mantra that is heard).
As it passes through, the energy centres (chakras) at the sushumana/spinal column gets awakened.
When this power ascends from Mooladhara to swadhishtana, it so happens that the sadhaka’s mind might get extremely irritated which results in unsteadiness and anger.
This explains one reason (among many) for your anger. If so, you might also experience floating upward in the space (during mediation), become sexually stimulated, and turn excited and energetic on your routine behaviors. Why not, you seem to transcend the ephemeral world, and self-realisation seems to be an easy matter.
At one stage, the Power of the Mantra you chant helps you to prepare the awakening of the Mooladhara chakra. This can be another cause for your anger. Before the awakening of the Mooladhara, there are also other lower energy centers called Atala, Vitala, Sutala, Talatala, Mahatala, Rasatala and Patala, which are located in the region between the toes and the pelvic region indicating our evolutionary origins in the animal kingdom.
Atala, This chakra is located in the hips, it governs fear and lust.
Vitala, Located in the thighs, it governs anger and resentment.
Sutala, Located in the knees, it governs jealousy.
Talatala, Translated as 'under the bottom level', it is located in the calves, and it is a state of prolonged confusion and instinctive wilfulness.
Rasatala, Located in the ankles, it is the centre of selfishness and pure animal nature.
Mahatala, Located in the feet, this is the dark realm 'without conscience', and inner blindness.
Patala, Located in the soles of the feet, this is the realm of malice, murder, torture and hatred.
On awakening of each center, you also experience the qualities governed by those chakras.
The complete awakening of these lower energy centers composes the sadhaka COMFORTABLE in aasanas for prolonged stay (any aasana comfortable for the sadhaka)
A piece of advice: Please DO NOT consider the above as the ultimate Vakya, Devi Maha Saraswathi must be your ultimate Goal, neglect all the good and bad experiences during mediation and in life, visualize the Mighty Goddess Shri. Sharada in her full form and chant the mantra 500k and more if you can. Lots of love :)
----------- ॐ iym nama: saraswathyi ---------
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